Hey all. Kind of hard to find unbiased opinions irl so I figured I’d turn here.
I (29M) had a kid with my ex-wife (32F) 10 years ago, my daughter. And there’s no real way to sugarcoat this but as soon as she was born, I left and I never ended up seeing her in the hospital as a baby. Was never really present in her life at any point but ended up getting a divorce 11 months later with her getting full custody of course.
I married young, was really stupid and thought I’d end up being a good dad despite no skills but got scared that I’d turn out like my dad and chickened out. Not really an excuse but an explanation I guess. I paid child support for the first 3 years but stopped afterwards.
I’ve been speaking with the girl’s mother about reconnecting with her, but she thinks it’s best that I stay out of their lives majorly. But I think making amends is always possible so I’m not sure, I just really want to make things right but I will respect their decision. I’ve seen her a few times but her mother has always introduced me as a friend. She says she will tell her when she is ready.
I’ve been dating a girl (28F) for about 10 months, and I really like her. I think I could definitely see a life for us and I know that sounds weird but she’s also said the same. I was also speaking to my daughter’s mother about meeting this girl, but she says absolutely not and that’s a bad idea. But if I want to reintroduce her into my life isn’t it fair that she gets to see my life too?
Am I wrong for doing this? Her mother says it’s a very bad idea, so it’s making me think I am but I just genuinely cannot see why. Obviously I care for this girl and I will care for her life too, but a relationship has to be two-sided I don’t think it’s out of the question to show her my life too.