I considered using a throwaway for this, but F it. I’m 42F and I’m tired of being the higher-income earner in my relationships.
I surpassed SO several years ago and I’ve always made more money than past relationships. When I met my current guy, I thought I’d finally broken the pattern, but, nope. We are a match intellectually, and he is a senior corporate leader same as me making about the same as me, but he isn’t financially settled.
I adore him and I’m not leaving him because of this. I just wish I had a rich bf.
I recognize this makes me sound incredibly shallow. I believe meeting an intellectual, emotional and physical match is SOOO much more important, but I can’t help feeling envious of people who have rich bfs and husbands who bring more to the table financially.
Am I the only one?
Btw, this is an equal opportunity post. I’m a woman but I wonder if men feel the same way (maybe?).
I have a complex and interesting relationship with money that I need to explore further. I’m guessing it stems from not having a lot of it growing up, but also a lack of gratefulness on my part for all the amazing non-monetary things I DO have. Truly appreciate the thoughtful responses. I have work to do with my therapist.
Here are what netizens think:
- If it is proxy for a man who has reached some pinnacle of success, yes, that can be fun to be with a man like this. However, in the mix, of what is important, I would much rather have a bricklayer who is dynamite in bed, than a corporate CEO.
- I am going to be blunt. I don’t think anyone gets everything – hot, great in bed, princess treatment, etc. If a man wants to pamper a woman, he is likely going to go the sugaring route, or go for a much younger woman. He knows he has to pay for that.
- If you are willing to go 20 years older, you can probably get the same princess treatment. Or, if you go for a man who is not handsome, maybe obese (think Harry Weinstein), etc., etc.
- Personally, where there is an imbalance in these relationships, is when money tends to enter the picture.
- I’m not sure how annual income is relevant here. As long as he has the disposable income to provide the type of affair you’re looking for, you can hardly rely on what a man might tell a side piece about his financial situation anyway. If he’s not providing the type of affair you’re looking for, move on to someone who will. Most of the men I’ve been with were happy to offer, though they may have downplayed their professional status until they felt they could trust me.