Are children who complains about parents always wrong?
I know this won’t be a popular post but I have been reading arguments from both sides and I think they both make sense.
As a child, I do try my best to fulfil my parents needs but honestly there’s just so much I can do. I can’t spilt myself into 2 and stay home to help out while working to earn money to support them.
The same goes for my siblings, we are all working adults and my brother have his own family. What we can do is to take care of all the finances so they don’t have to worry about money.
I do attempt to take them out for entertainment or meals but it always end up with me being frustrated by my father’s “waste money” lectures.
It’s also very frustrated when my parents blamed us for not helping with spring cleaning and housework and turned down all our alternative solutions like hiring a PT maid or helper.
We even hired A helper to help with spring cleaning but my father just have nothing good to say about her. even says she drank water too much ‘to cheat time’.
Luckily the water is she bring herself else sure kenna blame for wasting our water also.
Bottom line, he feels it’s a waste of money but actually she is very efficient and completed more housework in that 4 hours than my parents for a whole day.
Still she have to go, else my father will definitely have mor things to say or even try to be difficult with her.
I honestly gets annoyed after a day of tiring work to come home and hear constant naggings and blaming when I already did my best to provide a solution. You don’t “get used to it” but it erodes your patience and sap your energy.
I don’t remember able to have great and meaningful talks with them, especially my dad for many many years already.
He is just so full of negativity, defensive and “I eat more salt than you” it’s hard to talk to him.
I am glad that my parents doesn’t demand a huge amount of money from us though. my friend’s parents demand 700 from her when she just started working (earning only 1.5k before CPF) and another 300 from her brother who earns more than her (boys need more money to socialise, and start a family is the explanation given by the father).
She is also expected to chip in for everything (bills, grocery, brother’s birthday gift (new iPhone) etc), she ended up having to borrow money every month because she have study loans to pay too.
Her parents didn’t let her use their CPF and she took up a loan from the bank for her studies. There’s once she just gave them 500 because she is too tired of having to borrow money but they stole her ATM card and draw out the 200.
She have to change her ATM pin after that. But they kept demanding she tell them her new ATM pin number. Eventually she just moved out with her current husband and minimised interactions, just giving them 500 a month.
I sometimes feel it’s extremely unfair that people’s first reactions to children complaining about their parents are “you’re unfilial” or “you shouldn’t be born or shouldn’t breed”.
Is it right for parents to be unfair and demanding and just impossible to communicate? When “family love” just seems to be about money and demands and nothing else?
And when we start to avoid communication because of the overwhelming blames and stress from the interactions, we are wrong again.
Parents aren’t always right nor are all parents understanding and reasonable. I know some are but mine aren’t.