Divorced sis-in-laws would like to stay with us after our wedding
Me and my bf know each other due to his elder sister introduction. His sister really likes me to be her bro’s future wife. In short, we and my bf dated a few months and decided to be in a commitment relationship.
And out of sudden, his sister said she would like to stay with us after our wedding with her 2 kids ( age 6 and 4).
My bf asked for my permission if I am okay to stay with them. But I said no, it’s not that I don’t like them but I don’t want to stay with any in laws once I build my own family.
His sister knows about it and she is not happy about it and his family demanding to pay allowance if his sister is not staying with us.
P.S His parents are not in Singapore and she has to stay either one of her 2 bros. My bf is younger one. Currently she is staying with her elder bro.
How to deal with it without being rude to them? Her ex husband is useless and child support from ex husband is not an option.
Am I too selfish for not allowing to stay with us?
Here are what netizens think:
- Buy one get 3 free. Consider yourself very fortunate that unlike the same deal during Singapore elections where the GRC system is concerned, u have significant choice here. If u don’t like the compulsory freebies, there may be other more desperate women who don’t mind, maybe foreigner spouses (e.g. Vietnamese) etc who are married on pretex of human trafficking to become your boyfriend family maid etc. Unless u are very sacrificial to take the place of the foreigner selected to be his spouse (aka family maid), better drop this BF ASAP. Hopefully, his new GF will also run away too, before it is too late. He should form a ‘family nucleus ‘ with his divorced sister, get a BTO HDB flat, and help her bring up her kids. PS: When divorced elder sis intro u to her brother (your BF), she wasn’t looking for a spouse for her brother, as much as she was looking for a maid to serve her.
- Hmmm seems like she has her agenda to introduce you to her brother. But that doesn’t mean you are obligated to her request or want. It’s not easy to live with another family, likely more nightmares than peace. There are many options for her, apply her own flat or rent a place. You rather pay the in-laws allowances which usually we do give our parents when we started working but within your means that based on how much they want. Your reason given that you want to build your own family is more than valid. Be careful they may approach from the angle stay till you have your own kid.. never give in cause once she moves in, it will be 100 times more difficult to get her move out even if you have your kids. You rather upset them now than later, which will be very ugly. If you bf can’t agree, then move on without him. Cut early than too late.
- She probably chose you over any other girls because she has her own agenda of using you as a meal / lodging ticket. Either you put a stop to her demands or reevaluate your relationship with your boyfriend. If he sees logic in your case and supports you over his sister, he is worth keeping.