COUPLE BECAME PARENTS AND 90% OF THEIR FRIENDS MAGICALLY DISAPPEARED

Losing friends when I become parent

Hi all, our child came early this year and apart from our baby shower where most of our friends attended, my wife and I started to feel that we have lost like 90% of our friends and social life.

Even our close friends didnt want to disturb or trouble us knowing that we have a newborn and also stopped asking us out for dinner/social activities.

Apart from occasional texts and IG messages asking how we are, I felt that we have lost our friends to life after we became adults.

While we are happy for the birth of our child, it can get quite sad know that our friends (mostly single or married without kids yet), are distancing. Is this common?

Netizens’ comments

1. heh. Most singles or those without kids feel like they have been abandoned once their friends have kids. I just want to add one more factor which may contribute to them not wanting to hang out with newborn kids.
   Some new parents will do nothing but talk about them new kids. It’s especially the case when there are other parents around and then the singles and no-kids ppl feel really excluded. So when making arrangements to meet up, make sure the kids are not mentioned as much as possible. Even if they ask about the kids as a courtesy, don’t use it as an opening to unload about the kids.
   Parents with new borns also tend to come late due to baby issues and also depart early due to baby issues. If you are making time for your friends, be punctual and also make them feel like they are important. find proper sitters, etc.
2. Nothing is stopping you guys from being the ones to reach out to your friends to inform them you’re ready to hang again. Don’t wait for others to take the initiative lah.
3. Your friends, who are single or married without kids, probably feel the same way. They probably don’t want to intrude in your life as you embark on new priorities. They are probably busy too with their lives and you don’t know this.
   I know I felt this when my close friend started her family with beautiful twins. Have a chat with your friends, invite them to your home for potluck, plan an outdoor picnic. People will turn up – and if they don’t, they don’t. Goodluck.