My husband is calling me the worse daughter in law and saying I’m overreacting. His mother moved in with us after her caretaker quit, my husband’s uncle died in a car accident in December. In the end, the plan is that she’s going to go live with one of my husband’s other relatives so this isn’t permanent. She’s in her seventies and while pretty mobile and loves to go on walks and out in public with us to do errands she’s also becoming more senile every day and I honestly can’t take it anymore.
Since she’s always cooped up in this house my husband asks that I let her come with me and/or my kids to go to the park, grocery shopping, library, etc. I didn’t mind and actually liked the help (holding) of the baby while she was with us. But there’s been two situations where she’s said “karens” things very loudly embarrassing us. The first was when we went to a small coffee shop. It was me, my seven-year-old, my toddler and the baby and grandma. We were sitting down and there was a man with what appeared to be mixed looking kids in line. We had already been served and were sitting. Very loudly she turns to my oldest and goes “Well that’s just not right” and we all stared since she said it so loudly. She then kept repeating herself and started pointing to the family in the line in front of us. They looked very shocked and I was so embarrassed. Quickly I apologized and left in a hurry.
When I went home to tell my husband he was shocked but told me I was overreacting. He said we’d likely never see those people ever again and while it was bad they probably picked up on the fact that she’s not all the way there because she’s old and understood. I hesitated on bringing her out with us but after she kept complaining to my husband about never leaving the house I brought her out with us to the library this past weekend with just my oldest and while there she was being very rude to a man wearing a head covering and saying loudly she wanted to leave the part of the library we’re at while pointing to the man.
She then refused to leave the library after the man didn’t get up and just ignored her and I tried to tell her we were leaving and she got upset since we just got there. It made my daughter cry. When we got home I exploded on my husband that I am never going out in public with his grandmother again and told him what happened.
He said I didn’t know exactly why she was pointing at the man since she didn’t specify and that I shouldn’t assume it was to be ignorant and that I’m just looking for excuses to not take her out. He then said I’m a bad person since I know he’s busy with work in the afternoon and his grandma sleeps in and doesn’t wake up till late so me running errands is the only time she leaves the house and that if I don’t take her sometimes then she’ll really be crazy cooped up
Am I at fault here?