Anything ya’ll can help me with on this current situation that I’m having?
I actually met a guy 2021 November two years ago, and he was really nice, we hit it off pretty quick, and eventually asked for it, but not after I told him we should date first and he should become my boyfriend. He then agreed and we dated and then two months later, did it.
But two weeks after he did it with me, he immediately started distancing me and became uncontactable. He finally was contactable one week after that and he said he was getting a gf. I was stunned. Maybe I didn’t know him well enough. But he broke up with her one year after that and I continued talking to him to know him better. However, six months ago, he eventually got a new gf again without telling me. I found out from a source. I was still remembering six months ago if he was talking or friendly with any girls and he said no. What may I do in this current situation? He lied to my face. And told someone else a different story.
Now this has come to a point that it is affected my functioning because it was actually the first time with a guy, and he took my virginity. Now it’s affecting my functioning abilities and I’m having really bad thoughts and Idk why this is happening to me and always am thinking to self-destructing or negative thoughts in general.
I can’t look past why he did this to me or why this type of people exist in general, though they are all around us and worse of all why did it happen it me? Pls help me on this. Any advice is greatly appreciated.????
Here are what netizens think:
- Not going to make you feel worse but the reality is, these kind of guys are everywhere…. Which is why my advice is never trust words, only actions. The fact that he left you 2 weeks after doing it shows what kind of man he is. Yet you still harbor the hope of making him your bf? Move on and drill my advice into your brain. Nv trust words, only actions. That is going to save you alot of heartaches in the future.
- I am sorry to hear of your experience and pain. In practice it is easy to fall into taking decisions disproportionately risky/ detrimental to oneself when another person paints some vision of a good relationship giving one false hope. It was immoral of your ex to enter into a relationship with you while never intending to put up that level of commitment. It was severely unethical of your ex to use your false hope to procure S with you; he profited incurring a disproportionate mental health cost on you. I hope that you focus on your recovery. Don’t self-harm because it really gets one nowhere. I hope that you have sufficient support from friends and family who value you as you are, for who you are. For future relationships it is best you develop a radar of some sort to detect people who display inclinations to harm you when it’d mean they get to reap a profit. The balance between being giving– putting up commitment to let your relationships thrive, and taking excessive risk, is quite delicate. I hope your next partner will treat you right and work with you towards a genuine vision of a relationship. Take care.
- You got used. Plain and simple. Next time don’t have S relationships so easily if you know you are not able to handle it. The guy was making use of you. You were not his gf. So wake up and move on.
- It is very common dating back to as early as 60s, 70s etc ..these kind of guys exist everywhere. Maybe your parents didn’t counsel you during your growing up stages. I always tell my daughters what to be expected to be happening in a relationship. Don’t be upset by such thing. Most importantly is protect yourself by taking precautions durin the “procedures”. Look for counselling if you really needed.