I had a rather eye-opening conversation with a friend the other day that prompted me to reflect on the dynamics of relationships and life priorities. It all started when we were having coffee at our usual spot in Tiong Bahru. As we sipped our kopi, he casually mentioned something that struck a chord with me: “Ji Hong people are always poor, typically despo & ultimate losers in life.”
For those unfamiliar with the term, “Ji Hong” refers to an individual who prioritises chasing after women above all else, often neglecting their responsibilities, friendships, and family in the process. It’s a term that’s thrown around quite a bit in Singapore, often with a mix of disdain and pity.
As I listened to my friend, I couldn’t help but think about how true that statement can be in some cases. I’ve seen it happen with a few of my friends over the years. There’s this one guy, let’s call him Gary. He was once a promising student, full of potential and ambition. We all thought he would go far in life. But then, he fell head over heels for this girl he met at a party. At first, it was sweet. He would do anything for her, showering her with gifts and attention.
But as time went on, it became clear that he was neglecting everything else.
His grades started to slip, and he began to miss out on family gatherings and outings with friends. Whenever we tried to reach out to him, he would brush us off, saying he was busy with “his girl.” It was heartbreaking to watch someone with so much potential throw it all away for a fleeting romance. Eventually, the relationship ended, and Gary was left with nothing but regret. He had alienated his friends, disappointed his family, and lost sight of his own goals.
This isn’t an isolated incident. I’ve seen similar patterns with other friends too. There’s a certain allure to being in a relationship, especially in our society where there’s a lot of pressure to settle down and start a family. But when does that pursuit become unhealthy? When does it cross the line from being romantic to being reckless?
I think back to my own experiences. I’ve had my fair share of relationships, and while I’ve always valued my partners, I’ve also made it a point to maintain my friendships and responsibilities. I remember a time when I was dating someone who wanted me to spend all my time with her. At first, I was flattered, but soon I realized that I was neglecting my friends and my own interests. It took a heart-to-heart with my best friend to make me see that I was heading down a path I didn’t want to go.
“Bro, you can’t just drop everything for her. What happens if it doesn’t work out?” he said, and those words stuck with me. It was a wake-up call. I had to find a balance between my relationship and my life outside of it.
I think that’s the key takeaway here. Relationships are important, but they shouldn’t come at the cost of everything else. It’s essential to have a life outside of your partner, to nurture friendships, pursue hobbies, and maintain family ties. After all, when the romantic highs fade, it’s your friends and family who will be there to support you.
I shared my thoughts with my friend over coffee, and he nodded in agreement. “It’s all about balance,” he said. “You can love someone and still have your own life. If you don’t, you risk becoming that Ji Hong person, and nobody wants that.”
As we wrapped up our conversation, I felt a sense of relief. It’s comforting to know that I’m not alone in my thoughts about relationships and priorities. I’m curious to hear what others think. Have you ever seen someone become a Ji Hong? How did it affect their life? What advice would you give to someone who might be losing themselves in a relationship? I’d love to hear your stories and insights!