Eh bro, let me tell you this one — confirm many man will nod head until neck pain. This fella, let’s just call him Ah Seng, whole life like to siam diu (go KTV, find those “special service” kind). He always tell his kakis, “Wife? Aiyah, troublesome one. Go diu cheaper, no nag, no in-laws problem. Life good!”
But hor, now he hit mid-30s liao, wallet become thin thin like kaya spread, hairline also run faster than MRT train. Suddenly he start to complain, “Wah lao eh, I think I make big mistake sia. Siam diu for life, end up no wife, only left my right hand accompany me at night.”
From Hero To Zero
Last time young young, he every weekend sure disappear one. Say go “networking”, but we all know where lah — Geylang, KTV, Batam, Bangkok, you name it. His motto that time is: Siam bu for wife? Cannot lah, too much commitment. Siam diu more shiok!
At first really steady. Got beer, got songs, got girls call him “handsome” (even though he look like kopi uncle). But steady only for a while. Slowly slowly, all the money fly away, then liver also start making noise. One day go doctor, kena scolding: “You keep drink like that, later cannot even use right hand properly also.”
The Loneliness Kick In
Now Ah Seng see his old kakis one by one get married, buy BTO, weekend bring kids go Northpoint play indoor playground. He? Still sitting alone at kopi tiam, complain about 4D never tio, complain kopi price go up, complain government never give him “wife subsidy”.
He try to go back diu again, but the girls there see him, all call him “Uncle”. Wah, that one stab the heart worse than Swiss Army knife sia. He say, “Last time they call me oppa, now call me uncle, how to tahan?”
Right Hand Never Betray
So he come to conclusion: wife dun have, siam diu cannot sustain, end up his only reliable partner is his right hand. He even joke, “At least my right hand never ask me buy Gucci bag, never ask me wash toilet, and never complain I snore. Loyal until cannot tahan.”
But hor, behind the jokes, you can see he really regret lah. Whole life run away from commitment, think play play more shiok, now realise actually having someone beside you grow old together maybe more worth it than all the KTV sessions combined.
So moral of story, bros — siam diu for life, end up no life. Sometimes the “nagging wife” you scared of, maybe is the one who will tahan you when hair drop, when stomach come out, when kopi money not enough. Right hand can help you once in a while lah… but cannot warm your bed forever, sia.