A woman from Henan, China, has gone viral online for an unusual and controversial demand — asking her former fiancé to deduct 30,000 yuan (about S$5,500) from a refunded dowry as compensation for “hugging” her during a pre-wedding photoshoot.
The incident, which was first reported by Henan TV and later picked up by the South China Morning Post, has exploded on Chinese social media, drawing more than 23 million views and a flood of ridicule. Many netizens have criticised the woman’s behaviour as “unreasonable,” “immoral,” and a “new low” in the already heated debates over marriage customs in China.
Bride-to-Be Calls Off Wedding, Then Asks for a ‘Hugging Fee’
The couple, both from Pingdingshan in Henan province, met through a matchmaker and got engaged in January 2025, with wedding plans set for November. According to local media, the groom’s family had already handed over a betrothal gift worth 200,000 yuan (S$36,600) and booked a hotel for the wedding banquet.
However, just two months before the wedding, the bride suddenly backed out, saying her fiancé was “too honest” and had “too low an income.” While she agreed to refund the dowry, she insisted on keeping 30,000 yuan (S$5,500) as a “hugging fee” — claiming it was compensation for “physical contact” during their photoshoot.
The couple’s matchmaker, identified only as Wan, told reporters that the hug was directed by the photographer and that the woman’s demand was unreasonable. “I’ve matched over a thousand couples in the past decade,” Wan said. “This is the most difficult family I’ve ever dealt with. The request for a hugging fee is completely immoral.”
Dowry Debate Resurfaces Amid Growing Legal Disputes
After much negotiation, both families eventually settled — the woman returned 170,500 yuan (S$31,200) of the original 200,000 yuan gift. Still, the bizarre demand reignited fierce debate over China’s long-standing dowry tradition, known as caili (彩礼), where the groom’s family gives a betrothal payment as a sign of commitment and sincerity.
In modern China, caili payments often range between ¥100,000 and ¥500,000 (S$18,300 to S$91,400), depending on local customs and financial means. However, these high sums have led to growing public concern about the financial pressure on young men and their families, as well as a surge in legal disputes when engagements fall apart.
Chinese courts have in recent years been called to intervene in such cases, sometimes ruling that women must return all or part of the dowry, depending on the circumstances. The Chinese government has also introduced policies to curb “excessive bride prices,” calling for more rational approaches to marriage and financial expectations.
While the so-called “hugging fee” has become the latest social media sensation, many Chinese netizens see it as a symptom of deeper issues — rising materialism, unrealistic relationship standards, and the commodification of intimacy in modern relationships.
For now, the viral saga stands as both a cautionary tale and a reminder that when love turns sour, even a hug can come with a price tag.