I just graduated a year ago but I honestly feel like an old person. Ever since I started working full time, I gradually stopped feeling any joy in life.
The daily repeated routine of waking up, going to work, coming home to sleep feels like a chore. In fact, I wake up everyday feeling exhausted regardless of how late or early I slept the previous night.
At first, I used to look forward to the weekends as I can spend time with my friends and loved ones. Now, even this feel like a weekly burden. I feel tired being around people.
And so I decided that perhaps I just needed some “me” time and rest during the weekends. I stopped making plans to go out with others.
Instead, I started to sleep till noon and read books or play games the rest of the day. Initially this arrangement felt like a good change but I started feeling bored after a while.
Now I honestly feel happiest and most at peace when I’m asleep. Sometimes I really wish I can just bury myself under a warm and fluffy blanket, fall into deep sleep and never wake up again.
And no, don’t worry I have no thoughts of doing anything rash. I’m terrified of heights and knives plus I still want to be a filial child and support my parents till old.
I just wanted to rant and organise my thoughts a little. Thanks for hearing me out.