I really cannot with the job market in Singapore right now. I was scrolling through MyCareersFuture and JobStreet today, and I think HR managers in this country have officially lost their last two brain cells.
I saw a listing for a Receptionist role. Pay? $2,400. Okay, standard low-ball offer, I can deal with that. But then I looked at the “Requirements” section. “Minimum 10 years of experience in front-desk operations and office administration.” TEN. YEARS.
Excuse me? Are we hiring a receptionist or a Senior Minister of State? You want someone with a decade of life experience—someone who has survived the GFC, the pandemic, and probably three different cycles of the MRT breaking down—to sit behind a counter for $2.4k? In 2026? After CPF deduction, I’m left with what, $1,900? That’s barely enough to cover my Grab rides and cai fan with fish twice a week.
And the best part? The “Key Responsibilities” list. Most of it is standard—answering phones, looking busy when the boss walks by—but then I see: “Must be proficient in pantry management and preparation of premium beverages.” Let’s translate that from HR-speak: You need a Decade of Excellence to make 3-in-1 Super Coffee. I didn’t know you needed a PhD in Stirring Science to pour hot water into a mug. Is there a secret technique? Do I need to stir it clockwise 50 times to ensure the “premium” creamer doesn’t clump? Maybe after 10 years in the industry, I’ll finally develop the “expert wrist flick” required to open a sachet of Gold Roast without spilling the powder on my $20 Shopee blouse.
Honestly, the audacity is breathtaking. They want a “mature candidate” with “grace under pressure,” which is just code for “someone we can exploit who won’t talk back when we ask them to clear the paper jam for the 500th time.” If you want 10 years of experience, pay for 10 years of experience. If you want to pay $2.4k, go hire a chatbot or a primary school kid on school holidays. At this rate, I might as well stay home and be a “Professional Couch Tester.” The pay is the same (zero), but at least I don’t have to make kopi for people who think my time is worth less than a tray of eggs at FairPrice.
LJ job indeed. Good luck finding your “Purple Squirrel.” I hope they enjoy their 3-in-1.