Walao eh, I really need to tumpang this space to vent a bit because if I don’t, I think my chest will explode. You guys got friends who suddenly become super superstitious until like logic fly out of the window or not? I have this one friend, let’s call him “Master Tan.” Last time he was quite normal one, quite chill. But I don’t know what happened lately—maybe quarter-life crisis or he go watch too many TikTok “Sifu”—now his whole life is governed by that Tong Seng (Chinese Almanac).
Every time we want to go out, it’s a major production. Last week, we wanted to go Haidilao. Standard right? This fellow suddenly pull out his phone, open some app, and tell me: “Eh, today cannot eat seafood leh. The calendar say today ‘clash’ with aquatic animals. If eat will have bad luck for three days.”
I was like, “Bro, it’s just a prawn. The only thing clashing is my stomach and the hunger.” But no, he insist. We ended up eating chicken rice. Chicken rice. On a Friday night.
Then don’t even get me started on the hair cutting. I asked him why his hair so long until like F4 Jerry Yan, he say: “Cannot simply cut one. Must wait for ‘Auspicious Day’ for hair cutting, if not will cut away my wealth or my parents’ health.” I nearly fainted. Since when did Snip-it $10 hair salon become a temple ritual?
The climax was when he wanted to move house. Normal people check for defects, check location, check price. This guy? He check the “Bazi” of the front door. He told me he cannot move in on a Tuesday because the “energy” is stagnant. Then he must enter the house carrying a pineapple and shouting “Huat Ah” at exactly 11:08 AM. If 11:09 AM, the whole year is ruined.
I understand respecting tradition and all that, but this one is really buay tahan (cannot tolerate). It’s 2026 already, everything also must check calendar, then how to live? If the calendar say today “not suitable for movement,” does that mean you don’t go work? You tell your boss the Fengshui not right today so you stay home?
Logic totally gone. Everything also “clash,” everything also “not auspicious.” It’s getting sibei draining to hang out with him because every small decision becomes a 20-minute consultation with the stars. Anyone else facing this kind of “Auspicious Friend”? How do you all deal with it without losing your friendship or your mind?
TL;DR: My friend is obsessed with the Chinese calendar until he cannot even eat fish or cut hair without checking if the universe allows it. I’m reaching my limit.