EH GUYS, I need to share this because I woke up feeling like a king, only to realize I’m still a corporate slave.
Last night, I dreamt I actually struck the Group 1 TOTO. I’m talking the $13 million kind of windfall—not the $10 shared with fifty uncles at a 7-Eleven. In the dream, the first thing I did wasn’t buy a GCB or a Lambo. No, I went straight to the office at 9:01 AM.
I walked past the pantry, ignored the stale biscuits, and marched straight into my FT boss’s room. You know the one—the kind of “Foreign Talent” who thinks “urgent” means 11 PM on a Friday and “feedback” means shouting until his face turns the color of a ripened rose apple. This CB really thinks he’s the gift to Singapore’s economy while we do all the actual saikang.
In the dream, I didn’t say a word. I just locked the door, climbed onto his mahogany desk, dropped my pants, and pang sai right on his “Employee of the Year” plaque. The satisfaction was better than any Michelin-star meal. The sheer relief? Unmatched.
Just as he walked in with his overpriced Starbucks, I threw my resignation letter—which was just a photocopy of my winning ticket—right into the pile and walked out. I didn’t even take my mechanical keyboard. I just left it there as a monument to my freedom.
Then I woke up. To the sound of my 6:30 AM alarm.
Now I’m sitting on the MRT, smelling someone’s fermented economic rice, heading back to the same office to see the same CB face. I have to pretend to care about “KPIs” and “synergy” while my boss asks why the report isn’t done.
Seriously, why is the TOTO dream so far and the office so near? One day, man. One day I will really strike, and that table better be ready. To all my fellow corporate warriors stuck in the 9-6 grind: may your 4D be huat and your boss be elsewhere.
TL;DR: Dreamt I won TOTO, shat on my boss’s desk, and quit. Woke up and realized I still need this job to buy cai fan. Life is unfair.