Guys, it’s Sunday night. You know what that means. The Sunday Scaries hit already, and my mental health is currently dropping faster than the COE prices ever will. Every single week, the same damn routine.
Tomorrow morning, the alarm will ring, and I have to drag my lifeless body to the MRT station. Wah lau, the morning commute is literally a biohazard zone. You either get the guy who clearly hasn’t discovered deodorant since the circuit breaker, or the auntie who bathe herself in some super tokpek vintage perfume that smells like dynamic fluid and expired mothballs. It’s a 7:30 AM sensory assault. We are all packed so tightly together, I don’t even need to hold the grab pole. The sheer pressure of the crowd keeps me upright. Macham human sandwich, but the filling is just despair and sweat.
Because I dread this whole situation so much, I purposely play game and arrive late. I walk into the office, sit down in my cubicle—which honestly looks and feels like a luxury Changi Prison cell—and stare blankly at my monitor. Work a few hours, then congrats, it’s lunchtime! Time to go outside and squeeze with the entire CBD population under the 38-degree sun just to buy a plate of Char Kway Teow or Chicken Rice. By the time I get my food, my shirt is 80% wet. Eat finish, go back to cell, work a bit more, and then—yes, you guessed it—time to squeeze back into the MRT with the exact same sweaty people, just with added evening fatigue.
And don’t even get me started on my boss. This guy is a total piece of shit. Always talking about “synergy” and “ownership” while doing absolutely nothing except micro-managing my life. The only thing he owns is a spot on my list of reasons why I want to jump into the Singapore River. This whole negative routine is honestly soul-crushing.
So, I’m begging you guys. Anyone here got tian yan (heavenly eyes) or close connection with the Singapore Pools Gods? Can someone just PM me the exact winning numbers for the next TOTO draw? I don’t need the Group 1 solo walkaway, just enough for me to buy a million-dollar HDB, slam my resignation letter on my boss’s face, and tell him to go jiak sai. Help a brother out, my Monday blue is starting already.