A 31-year-old Vietnamese woman living in Singapore has revealed that she has repeatedly considered divorcing her Singaporean husband after feeling emotionally isolated during ongoing family tensions involving her mother-in-law.
According to a first-person account published by Vietnamese media, the woman said she has lived in Singapore for nearly four years after marrying her husband and relocating here. However, despite thinking about divorce many times, she fears that ending the marriage could affect her ability to remain close to her three-year-old child.
The woman reportedly said her biggest fear was being separated from her child while navigating life alone in a foreign country. Concerns over residency status, housing, childcare and financial stability have reportedly made her hesitate despite growing emotional exhaustion.
The story has sparked widespread discussion online, particularly among Singaporeans familiar with the pressures of multigenerational living arrangements, rising childcare costs and cross-cultural marriages.
Problems Allegedly Intensified After Pregnancy
According to the woman, she initially depended heavily on her husband after moving to Singapore because her residency paperwork was still being processed and she could not immediately secure stable employment.
As a result, the couple decided to start a family, with the woman becoming the primary caregiver for their child.
However, tensions reportedly escalated during her pregnancy and after childbirth. Due to the high cost of caregiving services in Singapore, she invited her mother from Vietnam to temporarily help care for the baby.
This reportedly became a source of conflict within the household.
The woman claimed her mother preferred purchasing fresh groceries daily and would occasionally ask her son-in-law to drive her to markets further away from their home during weekends. According to her account, this frustrated her mother-in-law, who felt her son was being inconvenienced.
Matters allegedly reached breaking point during a heated family argument inside the home.
The woman said the most painful remark came from her mother-in-law, who allegedly told her:
“Your mother is your responsibility. Don’t make my son run around for her.”
Husband’s Silence Left Her Feeling Isolated
While the argument itself was upsetting, the woman said what affected her most was her husband’s reaction.
She explained that he neither defended her nor openly sided with his mother, choosing instead to remain mostly silent throughout the confrontation.
According to her, that silence created a feeling of loneliness and emotional abandonment, especially as she was already adjusting to life in another country away from her own support system.
Since the incident, she said the relationship between the couple has become increasingly distant. Although they continue living together and co-parenting their child, communication between them has reportedly become cold and emotionally detached.
Relationship counsellors have often noted that emotional withdrawal and unresolved family conflicts can place severe strain on marriages, particularly in households involving multiple generations under one roof.
Concerns Over Residency And Child Custody
The woman reportedly said she frequently thinks about divorce but becomes fearful whenever she considers the practical consequences.
As a foreign spouse with unstable employment, she worries about whether she could continue supporting herself in Singapore independently. More importantly, she fears complications involving child custody and residency rights.
The issue of Long-Term Visit Passes (LTVPs) for foreign spouses has become an increasingly discussed topic in Singapore over the years, especially for couples with children.
According to previous statements from the Immigration & Checkpoints Authority (ICA), foreign spouses with custody of Singaporean children are generally allowed to remain in Singapore while caring for their children. ICA has also clarified that Singaporean spouses cannot unilaterally cancel an LTVP without the foreign spouse’s consent.
In Parliament previously, Minister for Home Affairs and Law K. Shanmugam stated that divorced or widowed foreign spouses with custody of Singaporean children are generally permitted to continue staying in Singapore to raise their children.
The woman reportedly said she feels trapped between two painful options — remaining in an emotionally draining marriage or risking an uncertain future for herself and her child.