Seriously, Just driving back towards Woodlands after a long day, minding my own business on the BKE, keeping a proper two-car safe following distance. Then out of nowhere, this absolute clown in a continental car decides to glue his front grille to my rear bumper.
KNN, I really want to ask these drivers face-to-face: you think you tailgate me nearer means you reach destination faster is it? Are you trying to absorb my exhaust fumes to power your own engine? Do you think kissing my car is going to magically part the sea of traffic in front of me like Moses? Traffic is completely bumper-to-bumper ahead, but this champion thinks that if he stays 0.1 centimeters away from me, he can bend the laws of physics and teleport to his house.
Honestly, the intrusive thoughts really take over in these moments. KNN sometimes I just want to step on brake hard-hard. Just one solid tap on the pedal. Then I can just sit back, wait for the BANG, and happily claim the moron behind for a new bumper. My car could honestly use a fresh rear setup anyway, and getting it fully paid for by his insurance sounds like a fantastic deal. The only thing stopping me is the sheer hassle of dealing with the workshops, getting a replacement car, and wasting my evening waiting for the traffic police. Otherwise, I would gladly let insurance teach these idiots a very expensive lesson.
I really don’t understand the psychology behind this. These people brain got problem or EQ problem? Is their time really that much more precious than everyone else’s? Are they rushing home to clear their bowels because they ate too much McSpicy, or rushing to reincarnate? It takes a special kind of low IQ to fail to look beyond the vehicle immediately in front of them. If you use your damn eyes, you can clearly see the next fifty cars are also braking. Pushing me does absolutely nothing except increase the risk of a multi-car pile-up.
And the absolute funniest part of this whole circus? After all that aggressive tailgating, swerving in and out of lanes without signaling, and flashing high beams like they own the damn road… we always end up side-by-side at the exact same red light at the slip road exit anyway. All that stress, all that risk, just to stare at each other at the same traffic light. Absolutely zero logic.
To all the chronic tailgaters out there: back the hell off. The roads here are congested enough without your room-temperature IQ driving habits making it dangerous for everyone else who just wants to reach home in one piece. Next time, I might just let my foot slip on that brake pedal.