Following up on my previous post because some of you were calling me heartless in the DMs. “Bro, how can you leave her? Mental illness is not her fault!” Okay, sure. Let me tell you exactly what happens when you decide to be a saint, suck it up, and tahan the madness.
You think you are strong right? You think your mental fortitude is made of steel. So you stay. You absorb the screaming, the crying, the random objects flying across the BTO living room at 3:00 AM. You sit there quietly while she accuses you of trying to poison her food, or claims the neighbors are spying on her through the toilet vent. You don’t fight back because you keep telling yourself: “She’s sick, she’s pregnant, her mother also like that, I must be the mature one.”
But let me tell you a fundamental truth about human nature: everyone has a breaking point.
One random Tuesday evening, you come home after a brutal 12-hour shift at work, your brain is fried, and the moment you step past the shoe rack, the psychological warfare starts all over again over a piece of unwashed cup. Something inside you just snaps. The rubber band breaks. You don’t yell, you don’t cry. You just turn around, walk out the door, and get into the lift.
You find yourself wandering aimlessly, your mind completely numb. You just want an escape. Just one hour of peace where nobody is screaming at you, judging you, or draining your soul.
So where do you go? You end up in Geylang, or some shady KTV, or texting some random girl you met online. Anywhere. You look for a woman—any woman—who doesn’t look at you with crazy eyes. You just want a moment to breathe, a fleeting second of comfort to deal with the mountain of mental stress waiting for you back home. You hit the beer towers, you drown your sorrows, and you cross lines you swore you’d never cross when you stood at the altar.
And this is the exact moment a “bad guy” is born.
Society looks at a guy like this and immediately judges him. The relatives will say: “Wah, look at him, his wife so pitiful at home, and he go out cheat. So toxic, such an asshole, must be hanging out with bad company.”
But they don’t see the backstory. They don’t see the months and years of psychological torture that eroded his soul until there was nothing left. This is how AH guys are actually made in Singapore, bros. It’s not always from bad childhood friends or smoking under the void deck. A lot of the time, they are manufactured right at home, systematically broken down day by day by a siao lang wife.
Nobody starts off wanting to be the villain in their own story. You start off as a decent guy who wanted a happy family. But when your home becomes a mental asylum instead of a sanctuary, you either become crazy yourself, or you become the bad guy just to survive the night.
So to the people saying “just tahan“: you have no idea what kind of monster chronic mental abuse can turn a normal man into. If you don’t want to end up losing your integrity, your morals, and your mind—pay attention to the bloodline before you lock yourself in.