I just need to vent because I am so bloody mad at myself for not realizing this sooner. For the past three years, I was single as a pringle, constantly complaining to my so-called “sisters” about my dry-as-desert love life. Every time I went on a dating app date, I would screenshot the chat and send it to our Telegram group.
And every single time, without fail, the feedback was toxic AF.
“Babe, why he reply so slow? Delete him.” “Wah, he bring you to cafes only? So cheapskate, red flag!” “He got sister? Confirm got family drama next time, don’t waste time.”
They poisoned my mind, sia. They made me so paranoid that I was finding faults in every single guy before the first appetizer even arrived. If a guy didn’t reply within 10 minutes, I would ghost him because my “sisters” said he was playing games. They sabotaged my happiness under the guise of “protecting” me.
But you know what the funniest part is? Once I left that toxic group chat three months ago, my love life completely flipped. I stopped letting them put words in my ear. I met this really sweet guy, judged him based on my own feelings instead of a committee of bitter single women, and guess what? We’ve been official for a month now. He treats me like a queen, and he doesn’t fit a single one of their ridiculous “red flag” criteria.
There is this Chinese saying: 三个女人一台戏 (three women make a drama), or the classic “few women chatting becomes a market” (三个女人成个墟). Honestly, whoever came up with that was a genius. When a group of insecure women gather, it’s not a support system—it’s a crab-mentality market where they drag you back down the moment you try to climb out of the single bucket. They are miserable, so they want you to stay miserable with them so y’all can drink bubble tea and complain about men forever.
Word of advice to all my Singaporean sisters out there: if you have a friend who is always hyper-critical about your dates, always projecting her own failed relationships onto yours, and always finding reasons why you should stay single… she is not your sister. She is the freaking witch you need to burn on a stake.
Cut the dead weight. Protect your peace. The moment you stop letting outsiders run your love life, you’ll realize the dating pool isn’t actually that bad—your friend group is just toxic.