I’ve officially decided to stop sharing my income with anyone—friends, relatives, even casual acquaintances. In Singapore, the moment you drop a number, people instantly run you through their internal “social calculator” and categorize you.
It always starts innocently during catch-ups. Someone asks what you’re up to, which leads to your job, which inevitably leads to the classic, passive-aggressive Singaporean probe: “Wah, tech manager ah? Must be hitting 5 figures already right?”
If you answer honestly and the number is high, the dynamic changes instantly. Suddenly, you become the designated payer for dinners because “you earn so much, treat lah!” Or worse, you get hit with silent resentment. You can literally see them doing the math on your life: comparing your BTO location, judging if you can afford a entry-level continental car, or calculating how many luxury holidays you take a year. Every struggle you complain about gets invalidated with: “Income so high, still complain for what?”
On the flip side, if the number is on the lower end or just average, the judgment is even harsher. You get hit with that patronizing, pitiful look. Relatives start offering unprompted, toxic corporate advice at Chinese New Year, subtly hinting that you’re underachieving because your cousin is in AI or investment banking making triple your amount. The conversation shifts to how you’re going to survive with the cost of living, GST hikes, and CDC vouchers.
It feels like our whole identity here is pegged to our CPF statements and monthly base pay. We don’t see people as humans anymore; we see them as net worth milestones. If you earn $4k, you’re struggling. If you earn $8k, you’re okay. If you earn $15k, you’re elite.
Lately, whenever the topic comes up, I just hit them with the classic, vague deflection: “AIya, just enough to buy caifan with fish and not look at the price, can already.”
Seriously, keeping quiet is the only way to protect your peace in this country. Anyone else experienced this? How do you guys dodge the salary question without sounding rude?