Need some perspective here because I feel like I’m taking crazy pills while my wife treats me like I’m some paranoid insecure sOT guy.
So, some context: My (32M) wife (30F) and I have been married for about a year now, together for 4 years. Her ex-boyfriend (31M) was from her university days—they dated for almost 3 years before splitting up amicably because of “timing issues.” They remained passive social media acquaintances, which I was fine with initially. Live and let live, right?
Except over the past two months, this guy has suddenly turned into her #1 superfan on Instagram.
And I’m not talking about liking her recent posts of our weekend cafe visits or holiday photos together. NOPE. This guy is literally going on a deep dive archaeological excavation of her profile.
Every few days, my wife’s phone will pop up with notifications: Ex-BF liked a photo from 2019. Ex-BF liked a photo from 2018. Ex-BF liked a photo from 2016.
Walao eh! The photo from 2016 was literally a bikini picture of her at a beach resort back when they were still dating!
Last night, I saw another notification pop up while her phone was lying on the coffee table: He liked a throwback photo of her solo portrait from 8 years ago.
I finally brought it up calmly during dinner. I asked her: “Babe, don’t you think it’s a bit strange that your ex is randomly digging up and liking your pictures from 8 to 10 years ago? Why is he scrolling that deep into your profile at 1 AM?”
You know what she told me? She gave me a slight chuckle, rolled her eyes, and said:
“Aiya, he’s just being friendly lah! He probably just scrolling his feed or cleaning up his saved posts and came across it. Why are you so petty and insecure? It’s just a double-tap on a screen, doesn’t mean anything what.”
BRO. WHAT?! 💀💀
Double-tap on a photo from EIGHT YEARS AGO is “just being friendly”?! Nobody casually “scrolls their main feed” and accidentally lands on a specific grid post from 2016 unless they are actively stalking or reminiscing about the past!
I told her it’s about basic boundaries and respect for our marriage. If he wants to like a recent group photo, fine. But deep-scrolling her old solo shots is clearly him testing the waters or trying to get her attention. When I asked her to just soft-block or restrict him, she refused, saying I’m being “controlling” and making a big deal out of nothing.
Now the vibe at home is super awkward and cold. She thinks I’m an over-possessive monster, and I feel like she’s completely invalidating a very reasonable boundary.
Am I overreacting here, or is her ex blatantly fishing while my wife plays blur? What would you guys do in this situation? Sibei frustrating.