Need to vent here because my blood pressure literally spiked to the ceiling today.
Random weekday afternoon, suddenly I get a WhatsApp message from an un-saved number. Profile pic is some uncle standing in front of a Mercedes (probably not even his own car).
Message reads:
“Hi ah, long time no see! Uncle Ah Huat here. How are you doing? Heard from your mother you doing quite well nowadays! Actually Uncle short of cash for some short-term business emergency, can lend $5,000 first? Will return you next month with 10% interest swee swee.”
I sat there staring at my phone in absolute disbelief.
Bro, the LAST time I saw this fella was literally during Chinese New Year 2011. I was still a kid with a face full of pimples, and all I remember about him was that he gave me a $6 angbao while complaining that my mother’s home-baked pineapple tarts were “a bit dry.”
In the past 15 years:
- Did he ever text to check how the family was doing? No.
- Did he invite us to his kid’s wedding? No.
- Did he even bother to send a generic $0.00 WhatsApp animated CNY GIF on day 1 of Chinese New Year? NO.
Suddenly today, my number magically materialises in his contact list because he needs 5 grand? Sibei pattern lah.
And we all know the unspoken rule in Singapore right? When a distant relative says “borrow”, it is 100% a non-refundable cash donation. “Return next month” in relative-speak means “If you ever dare to ask me for this money back, I will blast you in the family group chat for being an unfilial, disrespectful junior.”
The absolute highlight? When I didn’t reply after 10 minutes, he sent a follow-up message:
“Family must help family right? blood thicker than water.”
WAH LAU SIA. Emotional blackmail level 9999. Where was this “blood thicker than water” energy for the last 15 years?
To make matters worse, my mum is now giving me the typical bo liao talk: “Aiyah, just give him $500 lah, don’t so harsh, he’s still your elder.” Excuse me? Being older doesn’t give someone a free license to act like a legal scammer.
Right now, I am debating between three choices:
- Leave on read and block immediately.
- Reply: “Hi Uncle, actually I just lost my entire savings in options trading, was just about to text you to borrow $10k. Can help?”
- Send him the SPF Anti-Scam Hotline flyer.
Anyone else encountered this kind of human parasite before? How do you guys shut them down without causing a whole World War 3 in the extended family?