I need to scream into the void because I am actually going insane.
HR just dropped a calendar invite for a “Mandatory Team Alignment & Synergy Day” on… drumroll please… SUNDAY.
Yes, you heard that right. SUNDAY. The one sacred day I have to rot in bed, do my laundry, and mentally prepare myself for another week of corporate torture.
And the worst part? It’s not even a half-day or a quick lunch. It’s an ALL-DAY EVENT from 9:00 AM to 5:00 PM at some ulu resort in Changi. The email literally said: “Attendance is compulsory for all staff as we foster a culture of oneness and family!”
EH HELLO??? FAMILY??? My real family barely sees me during weekdays because I’m OT-ing until 9 PM, and now you want to steal my Sunday to force me to play trust falls with $3,000-a-month colleagues who don’t even reply to my Slack messages on time?!
I asked HR if we get off-in-lieu (OIL) or weekend allowance. You know what the HR manager said with a fake, toothy smile? “Oh, we should view this as an investment in our shared workplace harmony, not a transaction! Lunch is provided!”
LUNCH IS PROVIDED. GUYS. A $12 catering bento box with cold, rubbery sweet and sour pork and miserable soggy broccoli is supposed to replace my rest day?! Are you kidding me?! If I wanted to get tortured on a Sunday morning, I would go for IPPT, at least SAF gives me incentive money!
I checked the schedule. 9 AM icebreaker, 11 AM “high-element obstacle course” (I have a fear of heights and a bad lower back), 1 PM bento box, 2 PM “breakout strategy brainstorm session” (aka doing actual work under the sun), and 4 PM reflection circle.
Reflection circle for what?! Reflect on why I haven’t submitted my tender or resigned yet?!
Is this even legal under MOM guidelines?! We are a non-essential service, why are you claiming my weekend?! My boss texted the group chat saying “Looking forward to seeing everyone’s energized faces this Sunday! Let’s bring our 100%!” to which everyone naturally replied with the fake “👍” and “🙌” emojis while silently crying into their pillows.
I swear to god, if I have to do a charades game with my VP while sweating through my Uniqlo AIRism tee on a Sunday morning, I am going to throw my badge into the sea.
Anyone’s company hiring? Asking for a friend who is currently updating his resume instead of doing his “Pre-Event Survey”. Sibei jiatlat.