WTF… Colleague finally admitted he only changes underwear on WEEKENDS. Only has 2 pairs total. How to report HR without making it awkward???
Throwaway account for obvious reasons. I am actually typing this with my face mask on at my desk because I cannot take it anymore.
For the past three weeks, everyone in our corner of the office (about 6 of us) kept noticing this distinct, rank smell lingering around. It wasn’t the standard “after-lunch food smell” or somebody’s old coffee cup. It was this sour, musty, damp-towel-left-in-a-plastic-bag-for-a-week kind of stench. At first, we thought it was the aircon duct leaking or maybe a dead lizard behind the filing cabinets. We even complained to facilities, and they sent a guy down to spray air freshener, but the smell just came back two hours later.
Yesterday, the smell was exceptionally potent. It was so bad that my eyes were literally watering while doing my Excel sheets. During tea break, three of us went to the pantry and finally addressed the elephant in the room: the smell was 100% coming from “Dave’s” cubicle.
Since Dave is actually quite a nice guy and we didn’t want to humiliate him publicly, one of the senior guys in our team decided to broach the topic privately with him over coffee. We thought maybe he had some medical issue or his laundry wasn’t drying properly in his HDB flat because of the recent rain.
Bro… what Dave revealed was completely out of pocket.
He nonchalantly admitted that he only owns TWO pairs of underwear.
His rotation strategy? He wears Pair A from Monday to Friday, washes it on Friday night, wears Pair B over the weekend until next Friday, and then switches back to Pair A. HE WRINGS 5 DAYS OUT OF ONE PAIR OF UNDERWEAR IN SINGAPORE’S HUMID WEATHER.
When my senior colleague asked him why on earth he doesn’t just buy more, Dave deadpan replied, “Underwear very expensive what, Uniqlo AIRism $14.90 for one, why waste money when nobody can see inside?”
WALAO EH. Nobody can see inside, but EVERYONE CAN SMELL IT. We are sitting in an air-conditioned office environment, but he commutes via MRT and walks under the hot sun every day.
Now the whole corner knows, and we are traumatized. How do we even handle this? Do we buy him a 5-pack of briefs as a “Secret Santa” gift in July? Or do we go straight to HR under “workplace health hazard”? Please help, my nose is literally dying every single day.