Just finished our wedding banquet last weekend. Everything was fine, people happy, food not bad. Then came the part where we supposed to settle the banquet bill.
My mother-in-law (MIL is Malaysian, my wife also Malaysian, I am Singaporean guy) suddenly took ALL the angbaos. And I don’t mean just her side of the family oh. She literally took the ENTIRE box, including the ones from my parents, my relatives, my NS buddies, and my direct boss!
When I politely asked her for the box so we can tally and pay the hotel, she gave me this super self-righteous look and said: “Aiya, young people don’t know how to handle big money. I keep for you both first, for your future BTO/renovation. Next time you need then ask me.”
Bro, my wife and I both in our late 20s, both working full-time jobs, not 12 years old getting primary school pocket money! My own parents gave a huge angbao specifically to help us cover the hotel table cost. Now my parents asking me if the hotel paid already, and I don’t even know how to face them.
The worst part? Two days after the wedding, she packed her bags and went straight back to Johor Bahru (JB). Now when we call her, she either doesn’t pick up or gives super vague answers like “In JB busy visit relatives, talk next time!”
I tried telling my wife to get the money back, but my wife is stuck in the middle, crying and saying her mom has always been like this. Apparently in her kampong back in Msia, the parents traditionally take all the wedding collection to “recover” what they spent raising the child. BUT SHE DIDN’T EVEN PAY A SINGLE CENT FOR OUR BANQUET! My side paid the deposit, and the angbaos were meant to cover the balance!
Seriously why like that one? Is this kind of backward kampong mindset normal over there, or did I just heng heng marry into a extreme family? Now I am stuck taking out my own cash savings to clear the hotel bill while my MIL is living it up in JB with our hard-earned money.
Any bros here experienced before? How to forcefully get the money back without destroying my marriage on Week 1?