My (35M) mother has officially reached critical breakdown level. Every single day without fail, during dinner, during TV time, even when I am just walking past her to go to the toilet, she will start preaching: “Ah Boy ah, you 35 already, when are you going to give me a daughter-in-law? You want to die alone is it?”
Yesterday, she dropped the ultimate bomb. She silently went and signed me up for some high-end, traditional matchmaking agency package without telling me. Pay already, non-refundable. Now she is forcing me to go for the first date this coming Saturday, or else she threat to throw away all my custom PC components and change the front door padlock.
The main problem is: I actually don’t mind girls. I’m completely straight, nothing like “that”. But after listening to all my close bros’ horror stories over the last ten years, I am completely turned off from the whole Singapore dating and marriage market.
Seriously, every time a relationship breaks down, it’s always the guy who lugi (loses out) the most.
My university friend paid for the whole BTO downpayment, spent $40k on renovation, paid for a lavish Sentosa wedding, and two years later his wife wanted a divorce because “no feel already.” In the end, Women’s Charter hit him hard, maintenance fee need to pay monthly, and he lost half his savings. Another friend did dating apps for three years—every weekend forced to bring girls to expensive cafes, pay for fancy omakase, become unpaid driver, only to get ghosted after three months because the girl found a guy driving a Mercedes/BMW.
Why must put myself through all this risk? Right now, my life is so peaceful. I have a stable job, I work hard, come home can play games, eat my favorite food, order whatever I want, upgrade my PC, and save money for investments or gold bullion. My time is 100% mine. Why would I willingly pay money to get judged by some stranger who will probably cross-examine my salary, vehicle status, and condo potential within the first five minutes?
If I go for this matchmaking date, it feels like I’m voluntarily stepping into a meat grinder just to make my mother stop nagging. But if I don’t go, my home life will become absolute hell.
Anyone else in their mid-30s completely given up on dating because the risk-to-reward ratio is totally off? How to convince a traditional Singaporean mother that staying single is actually a valid, peaceful choice without getting disowned?
EDIT: Thanks for all the PMs. Saturday coming soon… thinking of going in my most casual clothes and intentionally failing the interview so the agency won’t match me anymore. Wish me luck.