Hey everyone, using a throwaway account for obvious reasons because my friends browse Reddit and I don’t want them to recognize my main.
Back in our polytechnic days about 9 years ago, my close group of girlfriends (4 of us in total) used to talk about our body insecurities all the time. To be honest, all of us were pretty flat-chested—mostly solid A cups, maybe a B on a good push-up day. One night during a late-night supper session, we made this “pact”: once we all started working and saved enough money, we would fly to Seoul together to get breast augmentation and upsize all the way to a full D cup. At 19, it sounded like the ultimate girls’ trip and sisterhood bonding goal. We even joked about keeping a group fund for it.
Fast forward 9 years later… life took a very different path for me.
I got married 3 years ago and now have a 1.5-year-old toddler. After pregnancy and mother life, my body has completely changed. My chest definitely isn’t what it used to be, now it’s more ‘solid’, but honestly, my priorities have shifted so much. My daily focus now revolves around milk powder, childcare fees, insurance, and saving up for future family plans. A full plastic surgery augmentation in Korea, including flights, downtime, accommodation, and post-op care, easily costs $10k–$15k SGD minimum per person.
The issue is: the other 3 girls are still single, doing really well in their careers, and fully committed to this plan. Last week during our monthly catch-up, they brought it up completely out of the blue. They were like, “Eh, we are all hitting 28/29 soon, time to finally fulfill our poly pact!” Turns out they’ve already started looking at plastic surgery clinics in Gangnam, comparing recovery packages, and planning to apply for block leave early next year.
When I tried to gently laugh it off and mentioned that my body and budget are totally different now that I have a kid, they pushed back. They said, “All the more you should do it! Post-pregnancy saggy liao is the best reason to get a lift and upsize! Don’t back out on the squad, we promised each other 9 years ago!”
Now I’m stuck in a really weird dilemma:
- Financials & Priorities: $10k+ is a substantial amount of money for a young family. If I tell my husband I’m dropping $10k+ to fly to Seoul for a D-cup, he will look at me like I’ve lost my mind, and honestly, I’d rather put that into my kid’s savings or family travel.
- Recovery & Motherhood: How am I supposed to lift or carry a active 12kg toddler while recovering from muscle-invasive surgery? The physical downtime isn’t realistic for a primary caregiver.
- Friendship Dynamics: These girls have been my ride-or-die since poly. If I drop out completely, I feel like I’m breaking a long-standing promise and being the ultimate wet blanket. They’re super hyped and excited, and I don’t want them to feel like I’m judging them or distancing myself just because I’m a mom now.
Has anyone dealt with a situation where a long-time pact no longer fits your current life stage? How do I tell them firmly that I’m opting out of the surgery without ruining the friendship or sounding preachy? Should I offer to go along just as a vacation/support buddy to look after them post-op, or will that make things even stranger?