Ex-fiancé who cheated on me is STILL in my family WhatsApp group chat updating my parents on his life, and my parents are actively liking his photos. Am I the crazy one?
I genuinely feel like I’m living in an episode of Black Mirror.
My ex-fiancé (31M) and I (29F) broke up 8 months ago. The breakup was horrific. I caught him flirting and booking hotel rooms with his colleague behind my back. We surrendered our BTO, lost our $10k deposit, and I spiraled into depression for months. My family KNOWS everything. They saw me cry every night, they saw how destroyed I was.
When we were together, he joined my family’s WhatsApp group chat (“TAN FAMILY HUAT HUAT”). Naturally, right?
Fast forward to today: HE IS STILL IN THE GROUP CHAT.
Not only is he still inside, HE REGULARLY POSTS UPDATES. Last week, he posted a photo of his new car (a Mazda 3) with the caption: “Uncle, Aunty, look! Finally upgraded my ride! Hope you guys are well!”
AND WHAT DID MY MOTHER DO? She replied with the red heart emoji and wrote: “Wow very nice car Bryan! Drive safely okay! Must come over eat dinner when free!”
MY FATHER EVEN LIKED THE MESSAGE.
I nearly dropped my phone. I sent a private message to my mom: “Ma, why are you replying him? We broke up 8 months ago because he cheated on me! Why is he even still in the chat? Remove him!”
My mom’s response? “Aiya girl, don’t be so small-minded lah. Relationship ended, but human connection still there what. He was almost our son-in-law. Be generous a bit, don’t be so dramatic.”
I tried to remove him myself, but I’m not group admin—my dad is. I asked my dad to kick him out, and my dad said: “It’s rude to remove people suddenly. Later people say our family no manners. Just ignore the messages can already.”
Meanwhile, my ex is using our family group chat like his personal Instagram blog. Yesterday he posted a picture of his work promotion! “Uncle/Aunty, got promoted to Senior Manager today!” My mom replied: “So proud of you Bryan! Always knew you very capable!”
HE CHEATED ON YOUR DAUGHTER. HE DESTROYED HER LIFE AND YOUR FAMILY’S BTO SAVINGS. AND YOU ARE PROUD OF HIM?!
I threatened to leave the family chat myself, and my mom got angry, saying I’m “ruining family harmony over a guy.”
Is this a toxic Asian family thing? How do I make my parents realize how deeply fucked up this is? Should I just create a new group chat without him, or straight away leave the family chat and go low contact?