GF’s father demanded I buy a resale private condo in my own name before marriage. Now we are married, he moved into the master bedroom and refuses to leave or pay a single cent.
This is a warning to all bros out there: ALWAYS watch out for red flags in your partner’s family, no matter how much you love your partner.
I (33M) married my wife (30F) last year. Before we got married, her father (60s M) was extremely demanding. He insisted that his daughter “cannot suffer in a HDB flat.” He made it a hard condition for marriage: I must buy a 3-bedroom private condo before the wedding.
I worked extremely hard in tech/sales, saved up aggressively for years, and squeezed my bank account dry to put down the downpayment for a $1.6M resale condo in Upper Bukit Timah. The mortgage is entirely on me ($5.8k/month) because my wife’s income is quite low.
During the renovation period, FIL casually asked: “Eh, the common room got attached toilet or not? Make sure built-in wardrobe spacious ah.” I thought he was just being an inquisitive typical Singaporean uncle.
ONE WEEK after our wedding, FIL literally showed up at our condo door with 4 large luggage bags and a giant fish tank.
He walked straight into the master bedroom (which has the balcony), threw his bags down, and said: “Aiya, my current flat in Bedok rent out to tenants already. I move in here to stay with you guys, more cozy. Master room very nice, I take this one.”
I stood there utterly paralyzed. I looked at my wife. My wife looked away and whispered: “Babe, my dad sold/rented his flat so he can use the rental income for his retirement. Just let him stay for a short while lah…”
THEY PLANNED THIS BEHIND MY BACK.
Short while? It has been EIGHT MONTHS.
- He sleeps in our Master Bedroom. My wife and I are forced to sleep in the smaller common bedroom!
- He cooks heavy nonya/seafood dishes at 11pm, leaving the whole kitchen greased up.
- He blast his TV (CCTV news) at volume 80 every morning at 6am.
- Aircon running 24/7 in his room. Electric bill shot up to $600/month.
Last month, I sat him down politely: “Uncle, the condo mortgage and bills are very heavy for me. Since you are collecting $3.2k rent from your Bedok flat, can you help contribute at least $800 a month for utilities and maintenance?”
He slammed the table and yelled at me: “YOU WANT YOUR FATHER-IN-LAW TO PAY RENT?! I gave you my daughter! Without me, you think you can have this family? I am testing your filial piety! Unfilial dog!”
My wife took HIS side! She told me I am being “calculative” and that in Asian culture, taking care of elderly parents is mandatory.
I am paying $5.8k mortgage for a house I don’t even enjoy, sleeping in a tiny room, while my parasite FIL lives like a king in my master bedroom on my dime.
Since the condo is 100% under MY name, can I legally evict him through police or court order without my wife’s consent? I am honestly ready to file for annulment/divorce.