My wife (29F) and I (30M) held our wedding banquet five months ago at a hotel in Orchard. Like most young Singaporean couples, we paid for the hefty hotel deposit out of our own pockets using credit card installment plans, fully expecting that the wedding ang baos from guests would help offset the $50,000 banquet bill.
During the wedding night, my parents (60s) offered to “safekeep” the red packet box. My mother said very convincingly in front of my wife’s family: “You young people night time want to go hotel room rest, so dangerous holding $50k cash. Let Mama take the ang bao box home first. We will help you count, record down who gave what, and transfer the money into your bank account next week to help you pay for your upcoming BTO renovation!”
Because my parents had always appeared trustworthy, my wife and I agreed relievedly.
Next week came. Then next month came. Every time I asked my mother about the wedding ang bao money, she would delay:
- “Oh, auntie so-and-so gave a check, waiting for bank to clear.”
- “I am creating an Excel spreadsheet to record all the relatives’ names so you know how much to return when they get married next time.”
- “Don’t worry lah! The money is safe with Papa and Mama! We keep in high-interest fixed deposit account for you first so you don’t spend anyhow!”
Eventually, three months passed. Our BTO key collection date approached, and our interior designer needed a $20,000 cash deposit to begin hacking and carpentry works. I went over to my parents’ house to collect the full sum ($48,200 total counted from the guest list).
When I sat them down at the dining table and asked for the bank transfer, my dad folded his arms, cleared his throat, and dropped a bomba:
“Ah Huat ah, that $48k wedding ang bao… Papa and Mama decided to keep it. Consider it as your filial piety repayment for us raising you for 30 years. Besides, most of the guests who came were OUR relatives and friends, so technically the ang bao money belongs to us.”
I couldn’t believe my ears. I shouted: “What?! Over 60% of the tables were my friends and colleagues! And my wife and I paid the ENTIRE $50k hotel bill on my personal credit cards! I am currently paying $2,000 monthly interest on that credit debt!”
My mother then proudly pointed around their 5-room HDB flat in Bishan.
I looked around properly for the first time—they had completely retiled their living room with glossy Italian marble, installed brand-new custom kitchen cabinets, bought a huge 75-inch OLED TV, and replaced all aircon units! They had used our entire $48,000 wedding gift money to fund a lavish home renovation for their own flat!
My mom had the cheek to say: “We live in this old flat for 20 years already, so run-down. You get married already, soon will move out to your own BTO. Must let Papa and Mama enjoy a nice house right? You are our son, why are you being so calculation over money? Your wife teaching you to come back and bark at your own parents is it?”
My wife broke down in tears when she found out. Her parents are furious, calling my parents shameless thieves. We had to take up an emergency personal loan with high interest just to pay off the hotel credit card bills and ID deposit.
I haven’t spoken to my parents in two months. They are now going around telling all our relatives in Chinese New Year group chats that I am an “unfilial son who abandoned his parents over money after getting a wife.”
Is there any legal avenue to recover money given as wedding gifts if it was taken under false representation, or do I just accept that I paid a $48,000 fee to realize my parents are toxic parasites and go complete No Contact (NC) with them forever?