Im unsure if I cheated.
However I felt that it is not my fault. Here is my story.
A little background information about myself. I am 31 years old, a self-made entrepreneur with 17 shops and counters all around Singapore selling fashion jewellery. I made a profit of sgd30k+ to sgd90k+ per month in 2019. My wife, on the other hand, is working as a marketing manager earning 6k a month. We are married for 3 years. I loved her.
I was working 14 to 15 hour a day as I need to ensure all my staffs open the shop on time and I personally also do the end of day sales. All these years, I handled everything by myself except hiring staffs to stand at the shop.
Exactly a year ago, I felt really exhausted from my business. I felt that I could not handle my business all by myself anymore as my shops were still expanding. Then, I have a brilliant idea. Why not my wife quit her job in marketing and assist me in full time. I could easily pay her twice her salary. That night, I spoke to her while we were having dinner at home. Her immediate response was “NO”. She said that she neither wants to depend on me nor my business. She wanted a career on her own. I was saddened, but I respected my wife decision. She then advised me to hire a secretary which I guess is my only choice.
The next day, I posted an advertisement on various job searching sites looking for a secretary. A few days later, 7 of them came down for an interview. Surprisingly, all 7 of then were women even though I did not specify gender in my job listings hahaha. The first 6 of them, were really bad. Most of them demanded fixed working hours, flexible schedules and off on weekends. One even asked for 3.5k a month despite having no experience!
Just as I was giving up, the seventh girl knocked on my door. She was dressed in a midi dress with shiny black stilettos. Her hair was ash brown, slightly curled with bangs. Her eyes were huge and round, and an obvious dimple that can be seen when she smiled. TBH, she has the dream girl look that I believe 90% of the guys will fall in love with! I stared at her for almost 5 seconds, before I swallowed my saliva and asked her to come in for the interview.
In summary, her name is Joy(not her real name), aged 24 and she recently left her job as a clerk because she cannot stand the politics in the office. She is willing to accept any working hours and schedule and even a starting salary of 2.1k. I accepted her immediately and told her to come to work the day after.
In the next 6 months, Joy and I were great partners as we worked together almost every day. I was amazed at Joy working attitude and efforts she put into the job as my secretary. My business can totally operate without my management with Joy around. She really eased alot of my burden. Despite Joy 10/10 looks and the admiration that I have in her, I did not do anything beyond what a decent boss will do. The most I did was buying her breakfast and sending her home after shop visiting and that’s what I think I should do as a boss. Joy was also very professional and did not do anything inappropriate before.
One day as I was moving the stocks in my office. I tripped myself and sprained my ankle (I know how clumsy I am haha). Without hesitation, Joy heard my fall and ran into my office. She held me up and put me back to my chair. I told her that I will be fine after taking some pain killer. She told me to give her a minute and she came back with some Chinese medical oil. Suddenly, she kneels down in front of me and took off my shoes. I shunned away and told her I can do it on my own. She reassured me to just relax and trust her in what she’s doing and I obliged. This is the first time there’s any form of physical contact between me and joy. Despite the pain in my ankle, I felt blissed. Joy was like an angel in my eyes, yet she willing to let down her ego to rub my ankle with the oil. As she was massaging my ankle, she said in a very gentle but low voice “why you always never take care of yourself one..” she glanced at me and I can see tears in her eyes. Wow, I thought to myself, is Joy heartbroken that I sprained my ankle?
After which, Joy drove me home in my car and took a taxi back. To my horror when I reached home, my wife saw my swollen ankle and said “WTF you how old already still can fall until like that. You better go see a doctor yourself tomorrow.” My heart ached a bit. I did not sense any care from my wife. But it’s okay, I understand that my wife is not those girls that sweet talk and say nice things.
I talked to my wife, saying that I felt like our relationship distanced. We lost all the sparks and every day was just work work and work. I said I’m willing to spend more time with her, bring her to holiday and etc. But my wife told me no need, she still has many projects to rush at work plus it is normal for couples to feel this way. I said, including faded feelings? She stunned, but said “it’s normal for every couple, all my friends also like that”, and she walked away…. I guess my wife and I did have some feelings faded but my wife doesn’t seem to be worried or concern. Perhaps her job is her number 1 priority.
One day, I received a call from a big and famous Korea distributor. They were interested in supplying fashion jewellery for my shops in Singapore. They wanted me to go Korea and discuss with them. I was extremely delighted hearing this good news and told my wife. I told her that she should come with me to meet the distributor in Korea and we can take the time to holiday. She rejected me and said that “This kind of thing why you come ask me. You want holiday can go next time. This is a business trip, you should go with Joy”.
I told Joy about this and Joy agreed to go. 2 weeks later, Joy and I arrived in Korea. We met 3 male executives representing the Distributor in a korean resturant. Instead of discussing and negotiating about the contracts. They wanted to dine with us and drink first. Joy and I smiled and agreed. After eating, the male executives passed me a bottle of soju and said to test my sincerity. Normally I can easily drink 5 bottles of soju easily but I was having a really bad stomach flu that day. Just as I was explaining my sickness to them, Joy cut into the conversations and said she will tank for me. The executives cheered, passed the Soju bottle to Joy and Joy dunk the whole bottle down in seconds. This made the executives more happy and wanting to drink more with Joy. I tried to stop, but Joy reassured me that she’s okay. End of the day, the executives signed the contract with us but Joy drank 4 bottles of soju. As the executives left, Joy fell while I held her up. She couldn’t walk properly. We went down to get a taxi and sent her back to the hotel. Outside the hotel lobby, she vomited all over herself.
I brought her and back to her room. Looking at her dress full of vomits, Im unsure of what I should do. After 10 minutes of hesitation. I decided to remove her dress(JUST THE DRESS) and wiped her body with a warm towel. Suddenly Joy pulled my arm, and I fell beside her on the bed. With her eyes closed, she mumbled something like she really love me but didn’t want to come into my life as I am married. That was the time that I am sure we have feelings for each other.. Not knowing what to do, I stared at her face while lying beside her on the bed for hours while she is unconscious until I fell asleep too.
The next day, she woke up and saw herself naked while Im beside her. I explained to her anxiously and she just smiled at me and said “I know, dont worry, I trust you”.
Im unsure if she could remembered what she said last night. Anyway, we got dressed up and decided to go out and celebrate! We went many places, took many photos, brought many stuffs, laughed and joked like some sweet loving couple(except physical touch).
Idk why but suddnely we felt more open to each other, like as any of the barriers were gone. After which, I sent her back to her hotel room, before she close the door, she said this is her happiness day of her life. I said me too, smiled and stared at each other for around 10 seconds, and I left.
Next day, we took a plane back to Singapore. Joy thanked me for the care in Korea and took a taxi back. Even though everything seems normal, I have this feeling like I might lose Joy. Idk why.
And the fact is, Joy reached home and sent me a message telling me that she will be leaving this Job. I accepted her request and told her to take care of herself.
Its been 3months since Joy and I didnt have any contact. However every second in my mind I still think of Joy. I can also see from Joy social media that she is sharing photos we took in korea (without me in it) while captioning with emo quotes. I knew that Joy and I are really in love.
I need help guys, I really don’t know what to do. Me and my wife doesn’t have feelings anymore. Even though nothing much really happened between me and Joy, but we are sincerely in love.