A disgruntled daughter shared how her dad is being a “jerk”.
She wrote that she she has just started working and isn’t making much, but she still gives her parents about $650 or $700 per month.
Her father is complaining that she isn’t giving enough.
She highlighted that her three other siblings are all working and giving money to him too.
You can read her post in full below:
“#95640: Hi guys!“
“TLDR: my dad’s a jerk“
“i need to rant and i also need some advice here on the issue about the amount to give to parents when you’re working.“
“i just started working not too long ago and i don’t earn a high pay, around 3k range. i do give my parents money every month for the house bills and expenses such as groceries and their retirement which amounts to 650 per month or 700+ if they have medical bills that month.“
“recently, my dad started to make a lot of noise about the amount i’m giving to him because he says it’s too little. out of that 650, he says that he’s only getting 100+ for his retirement (actual amount is 190). he kept saying why is he only getting 100+ for his retirement when i’m keeping 2k of my salary for myself. i tried to explain to him that i have things to save for. i have a 28k debt for my university education to pay for, and a house and marriage to save for with my boyfriend in the future. he didn’t listen and said why do i need to save so much when it’s not even happening yet (meaning i’m not buying a house now) why am i even worrying about it and said i may not even marry my boyfriend in the end. he kept saying i’m saving at the expense of his retirement money. basically his idea of savings is you give whatever the house/parents need or want then your own expenses then whatever little amount of money left is your savings and i have to make do with it.“
“mind you i’m not the only child, my three other siblings are all working and giving money to him too. not going into details, but the amount of retirement money my dad gets adds up to 1k+ per month. and he claims he still can’t save any money because he’s still giving money to his own dad. i’m annoyed because now my dad wants to make his own children support 2 generations? and when he can’t save more for his retirement he asks us for more money? my uncles and aunty don’t even give my grandad any money and they’re all still working unlike my dad who has been retired for years and i feel that my dad is just using our money to make him seem filial. i told him to go talk to his siblings about it and he shot me with a “don’t come and solve my family problems”. my dad isn’t a big spender, he’s v thrifty. all big expenditures are paid by the kids so i really don’t see why he can’t save a bit from that 1k+ he’s getting every month. i asked my mum to check if the 1k+ she’s getting from us is enough for her and she said it’s enough. and my mum is a bigger spender than my dad so something doesn’t make sense to me. i could understand the frustration if he doesn’t have any retirement savings on his own so every cent matters to him but he has (6 digits amount) and it just seems like he die also don’t want to tap on it if he needs to.“
“he also said he’ll bring any of us to family court and sue us if we don’t give him money. i had a terrible time growing up with him as my father because of all the verbal abuse and spiteful actions he had done to me and my siblings. he thinks violence is alright when couples fight (he hit my mom before) and it’s natural the guy will hit the girl because the guy is physically bigger than her. he kept insisting that my boyfriend will hit me in the future because he’s way bigger but my boyfriend is very against violence so it really pisses me off that he thinks he knows everyone and all the incidents that will happen in the future. if that’s the case please predict the investments for us thanks.“
“after all that, he still thinks he’s a great father because he managed to pay for all our expenses till we started working. i will admit he’s great at saving money but other than that he’s a terrible father. the only useful thing i learnt from him was that i never want to have a guy like him as my partner.“
“so in conclusion, how do i talk to my dad to tell him that 650 is all i’m giving without him giving me hell at home (i wfh) and when i try to reason with him he’ll say “my logic is wrong”. i can’t get a rental because it’s extra cost incurred and i really just want to save as much money as possible. he keeps telling me to sign on for the money but i really don’t want to as well. his words: “just be a man, go serve your national service”. also, in the ugly event he does sue us, how likely is the court going to rule in his favour?“
Sources: NUSWhispers