After being drunk and sexually assaulted by a male colleague at the age of 21, the woman gave up on herself and indulged in clubbing, got an abortion and experienced a failed marriage. It took more than three years to get out of the shadows with the help of a counselor and rediscover herself. Now she is a proud mother of four children, has a happy family, and actively speaks for disadvantaged women in society and encourages them to step out of the shadows.
At the beginning of 2012, Hong Wanling tried drinking for the first time, but she was so drunk at a colleague gathering. The next day she woke up in her own home, feeling unwell in her private parts, and after further questioning, she learned that her male colleague took advantage of her when she was drunk and sexually assaulted her.
Hong Wanling (30 years old, social media anchor) recounts about “dark history” of her life. She said that she had been in love with her boyfriend for three years at that time, but due to the strict family education, she had never had sex with her boyfriend. After losing her virginity, she felt that she was “dirty” and “worthless”, so she gave up on herself and indulged in clubbing. As a result, she met a man in the nightclub and became pregnant.
She originally wanted to welcome this innocent little life and take care of the child by herself, but her father suggested that “don’t let him come to a world where no one welcomes him.” Hong Wanling reluctantly had an abortion.
After experiencing sexual assault and abortion, Hong Wanling’s mental state was very poor. At this time, she met her ex-husband who was 8 years older than her, and she soon entered into marriage. She did not expect her husband to cheat a month before the marriage, and then ignored her. She was pregnant and mentally abused her.
At that time, Hong Wanling always believed that she was not worthy of being cherished. She was tortured by this marriage for more than three years before she gradually walked out of the shadows with the assistance of her counselor, discovered her strengths and learned to love herself again.
In 2016, Hong Wanling began to write a blog to share her experience, encouraging women who have been sexually assaulted to face themselves bravely and not to be afraid to help counsellors. “I hope to help people who suffer from anxiety like me. Even if one person can be encouraged by me, I will be very satisfied. Later, I received about 10 private messages from about 10 people, thanking me for my encouragement, and confided in me. experience.
She said: “Because I have had similar experiences, I can understand their suffering and will not look at them with strange eyes.”
Hong Wanling currently has another happy marriage and is the mother of four children. She shares her story through various channels, encourages disadvantaged women to stand up and help them out of the shadows.
The wife of the sexual assailant came forward to plead for forgiveness, and she had no courage to face it at the time, Hong Wanling only told her mother-in-law about the matter afterwards, but did not call the police.
When she was sexually assaulted after drinking, Hong Wanling once questioned her male colleague while she was accompanied by a female colleague. The other party’s wife came forward and begged not to call the police. In the end, she decided not to call the police because the other party had a wife and children.
Because the place of the incident was in her own home, she was reluctant to go home for three weeks after the incident. When her mother-in-law found something was wrong and asked her, she confessed everything to her mother-in-law. The father also felt very guilty after learning about the incident, and originally wanted to seek justice for his daughter, but she was unwilling and lacking the courage to face the incident, so she finally chose to give up calling the police.
Three years after being sexually assaulted, she fell into another low point in her life. At the same time, she faced problems such as the death of his father, divorce, helping ex-husband to pay off debts, and taking care of children.
2015 was another low point in Hong Wanling’s life. At that time, her father was diagnosed with lung cancer and persuaded her to give up her first marriage before the hospital. “Before my father died, he told me that (marriage) cannot last and you must let go, but you must be strong, because you are the only one to face the future.”
After hearing this, she made up her mind to divorce. After the divorce, she must not only take care of the children, but also help her ex-husband to pay off the debt.
The pressure of her father’s death, divorce, debt repayment, and childcare made her want to commit suicide several times, but she gritted her teeth and faced the difficulties alone and survived.
Her counselor helped “dig out past experiences” and told her that the past three years had only been “self-deception” and never let go of the experience of being sexually assaulted in her heart.
In 2015, Hong Wanling, who was burdened by her ex-husband’s debts, fell into a financial crisis. She asked the government for help. The counselor heard the clue and guided her to slowly tell her past experience.
The counselor made her understand that she has been living in a “fake” world since 2012, constantly numbing herself with external things, hypnotizing that she has given up her care and deceived herself to live well. The actual situation is that for several years after being sexually assaulted, she would wake up screaming almost every night, trembling all over, and running to the corner halfway through work and crying. All these signs show that she has never walked out of the shadow of her heart.
The counselor made her understand that she must cherish herself, appreciate her strengths and fall in love with herself, and that she is also worthy of being loved. Four years ago, she met her current husband who was also divorced. She took a daughter and married a husband who took a pair of children. After they got married, she gave birth to a daughter and organized a family of six.