I am 4 months away from settling down with my boyfriend and lately, I’ve been feeling uneasy. I have anxiety thinking about settling down and how this is going to be a new journey for me as I have never been so far away from my family cause after the wedding, I will be moving across the world as he needs to work there.
Anyway, my boyfriend and I come from 2 different cultures and I come from a religious family. We have both been dating for quite a long time, almost a decade together and settling down at the end of this year.
To make my mother happy, my boyfriend will be joining my religion. This topic has always been very sensitive and important for both of us since he does not come from a family who believed in God and I do. At the beginning of the first few months we started dating, I told him being with me is not going to be easy at all as I come from a religious family. He said he doesn’t mind and said to let the future decide for us and if he has to be part of us, he’ll be willing to be part of us.
Today I found out that my boyfriend is not happy that he needs to pretend that he believes in God just so my mother could allow us to get married. He told me that he resents me for making him do this and I got really hurt when he said that. I have told him many times that he does not need to do this and he can find someone who accepts him for who he is but he kept saying he will do it and because he loves me, he wants to do it.
It has been days now that I haven’t talked to him because my heart is confused. I love him so much but at the same time I do not want to go into a marriage with him resenting me for doing something he does not want to do and before everyone attacks me and calls me a mummy’s girl and how her opinion should not matter in our marriage – my mother is the only person I have left in this world and her health is bad too and I do not wish to do something or against what she believes in and make her more sick as I’ve lost my father a decade ago too.
He did apologise for using the word resentment and admitted that it was a harsh word. I don’t know what to do anymore now. I don’t want to go into marriage life knowing that he has this feeling buried deep down in his heart.
I am at the verge of letting him go and be happy with someone else. I cannot afford to hurt both parties (him and my mother)… can someone advise me, please
I’m tired of crying every now and then being in this dilemma….