A few months ago, noticed the same name keep popping out my wife’s mobile and when i tried to check the phone, i realize that the history was only up to a day ago and im sure they been chatting way before that, and the content was although mind but not colleague r/s, is chatting about “what are you doing now?”, “what you ate for lunch/dinner”, “wah your picture on FB quite pretty hor”.
I confronted my wife and she initially deny but say that guy is only a colleague and just random chatting and he is doing that to many other female colleagues and she has no feeling for him, just responding out of boredom plus I have been neglecting her due to work. She promises to cut contact with him and only talk about work and will make it clear to him to not text so much.
I decided to trust her, and I made alot of changes to spend more time with her and less work and OT when at home, she also acknowledge my effort and claimed that she appreciated it, and life moves on.
After couple of months, while she didn’t off her PC, I peep into her log with tt guy, and realize they been chatting on a daily basis, the amount of chat in Teams didn’t lessen when I first confronted her, she say to dont whatsapp at night (I believe she delete the whatsapp chat).
And the chat content includes daily life activities, ranting about our quarrels to him, and some flirt content, of course work and office gossip. I was very upset, confronted her again, and now her excuse is that she is trying to get his attention in hope for a better impression and evaluation for her appraisal. Do note that they are from different department, even though he is a head of another department and could help her in her ranking. I find it bullish though. She keep claiming that is just normal colleague, and no feeling and just trying to get his attention and she know she is in the wrong but promise not to do that anymore, she will cut all contact and stuff. I really want to believe her, but what normal colleague will chat every day, talk about daily activities, flirt, and keep ranting about the husband? btw the colleague is also married with kids.
We been married for almost 8 years with kids, what should I do? I really find hard to trust her anymore.