After almost 10 years, I found out my daughter is not mine, biologically.
I got together with my wife about 15 years ago. She came with a premade family of a daughter and two boys. Then in October of 2012 she got pregnant. We weren’t trying to conceive, but weren’t actively trying to prevent either.
The date of conception seemingly matched up and a beautiful baby girl was born August of 2013. I have been led to believe until this last Saturday that she was 100% mine and I never questioned it.
But over the weekend I took our youngest son(stepson, but you all know I see him as mine) to a show choir event and met up with an old friend from around the time of my daughter’s birth.
A friend I met through my wife. This friend and I had a few drinks and she said she needed to get something off her chest that she’s been holding secret for years and told me everything. I was shocked to say the least.
The next day I called and confronted my wife and initially she denied it, but admitted to hooking up with the actual father. I hung up on her, all the while ignoring her calls. When I got home she then pulled me aside away from the kids and confessed all.
This little girl is my world and I do not have any intention of turning my back on her. It’s not her fault that this happened.
But Her mother now wants me to try to move past her indiscretion and stay together. Stating what we have built since is strong, and I shouldn’t tell my daughter about this as the real father had/has no intentions of being a part of her life.
I do not think I can forgive her for this. It’s too big. I am so angry right now at her and all her friends that knew but kept silent.
I can’t leave because I don’t want her to state that I abandoned my family. I’m afraid that if I do keep this secret from my daughter that she will one day find out and hate me for it.
If I stay, I can’t talk to anyone about it, they will be confused and astounded that I stuck around and it would make me feel like less of a man. I would bottle it up and let it eat me up and then rage quit my life.