My father is preparing his will and asked for my opinion on how he will organize it.
He is wealthy, and he owns property in two different places, one house is much bigger than the other, worth about 3.5x as much. He also has a couple of million in stocks.
I have one sibling, she has a husband and two kids. I have a spouse, but don’t have kids. Both my sister and I are in our 40’s. It is unlikely I will ever have kids. My sister and I both do ok right now, but neither of us are rich in our own right.
He wants to leave the bigger house to my sister because he wants that property to eventually go to his grandkids. I am fine with that, but (since he asked) I am asking that he find a way to make it more even somewhere else.
He seems to be reluctant to do this because I think he’s afraid that there might not be enough stock/cash to do that. However, he has done a lot more for her already, for example funding the grandkid’s educations, buying them both cars etc.
He has been very generous to me and my spouse too, but less so simply because we don’t have kids to spoil.
Also worth noting, in my will, half of all my assets will go to my sister’s kids, and the other half will go to my spouse’s sister’s kids. If my spouse and I die tomorrow, each of our nieces/nephews would get several hundred thousand dollars each just from us.
I am ok with my sister getting a little more than me, but also see it as a judgment on me and my life, and I don’t think she should get everything just handed to her at my expense. She has thrown salt in the wound by referring to the bigger house as “hers” for years, joking that she is my parent’s favourite, and bad-mouthing me to our family, damaging my relationship with them, especially my niece/nephew.
I know this sounds petty and selfish, and it is. But it’s also the kind of resentment that splits families apart. Am I the asshole for wanting to treated equally by my parents and asking them to consider that?