I (19 F) have been dating my boyfriend (18 M) for about 8 months now. He has always been a very social guy and had a lot of friends (both females and males).
It was never a problem to me, I even met some of his other girlfriends, who were really friendly to me and I enjoyed their company.
However, for about 3 months now, I have had mixed feelings over this one girl (let’s call her Stacy), who apparently is my boyfriend’s old friend.
In May, she invited my boyfriend to an all-girls party, where they watched drank. I was a little bit confused as to why my boyfriend would be invited to an all-girls party, but since he said that watching some movie is an old tradition between him and Stacy, that’s why he was invited, I just brushed it off.
I still don’t quite understand why that girl didn’t invite me to that party as it would have been a great opportunity to meet each other.
In June we had our exams, so we discussed that we would meet less in order to study, although we agreed to meet on the 3rd and 10th day.
So we met on the 3rd day, but on the 10th day he said that the plans have changed and he cannot meet as he will going to a bar with his friends, so we agreed to meet on the 16th. On 15th day he have gone to another party, so the next day he was too hungover to meet with me.
I was angry not only because he cancelled our plans twice, but also he failed to mention that the party was indeed at Stacy’s.
Now, we haven’t met for about 2 weeks+, since he had gone to Italy with his friends.
I missed him a lot and I was excited to meet him, but he said that he had plans to go on a family trip and didn’t even say that he missed me. Coincidentally, the town where he will be staying is also the same town where Stacy is now also going on a holiday so he will meet with her.
Also, we talked about Stacy a lot lately. He likes to annoy me by talking about her, even though he knows I don’t like it.
He even talked about her on my birthday. Also, when we talked about how he imagines a perfect woman, he mentioned Stacy. I have also given him my hair band to put on his arm, but I find him just not wearing it at all, although the bracelet, that Stacy gave him, is always on his arm and he frequently shows it to me and adores it.
In conclusion, I don’t want to be that jealous controlling girlfriend, but I feel like his relationship with Stacy is getting on my nerves. It seems like I am the second option, as he constantly chooses her over me in various situations. Also, the fact that she has never made any effort to get to know me or invite me to her parties, while his other girlfriends have, confuses me.
If I express my feelings to him, he says that I’m being defensive. So now, I don’t know what to do. and I’m overreacting? Or is he acting disrespectfully?