My partner (24) and I (24) have lived together for the past two years. We are in a small two bedroom apartment with our dog and a friend who lives with us. We are both employed, and I am also a graduate student currently in Uni.
During the week before and during my partner’s period, they get very moody. I am basing this off of my experience with prior partners and asking most of my best friends (who are women). To give you an idea, it’s to the point where I will forget to to hang up the dog’s leash, she will get mad at me, go silent, and then lock herself in a room for hours. Then she will go to work silently, and come home like nothing has happened.
I initially thought this might have been due to increase stressors (we are living pay check to pay check), or the idea that I possibly don’t spend enough time with them. But, it feels like every time we do hang out one on one, I make one wrong joke (never about hormones or emotions or stuff, just stupid online jokes) and then I’m stuck sleeping on the couch.
Some more background before I go further, we both have our own mental struggles. I have had depression and anxiety for over 6 years and have been actively seeing a therapist and psychiatrist for about five years, and have in the last 4 months been what I would consider “consistently normal / happy”. My partner has been diagnosed with bipolar disorder many years ago though she hasn’t seen anyone or gotten medication ever as it is “too expensive” which is fair. I have offered up many therapists and opportunities to get help with low income that I have emailed around about and asked my therapist (who I see through the school for free after paying my student fees).
It feels like I always try to go above and beyond during the time around their period and even not around her period. I consistently cook and clean, and try to spend as much time with them as possible. But it’s just been getting to the point where I know if we hang out I will just get emotionally used, even though I know that is not her goal. I am fully aware she is not directly in control of how their menstrual cycle affects them and I try to keep this in my head constantly. It’s just hard when none of my past roommates, friends, or even our current other roommate does not act anywhere nearly as, and I didn’t want to use this word, emotionally tiring.
It’s just so hard for me to balance graduate school, a job, my own family, cooking, staying physically and mentally healthy and try to have friends when two weeks out of the month I can’t do anything right.
We have talked about it before and she generally apologizes after her period is over (the week after she is very happy go lucky), but damn. It is rough.
Am I thinking unreasonably?