Me (26F) and my bf (25M) have been living together for a few years (September 2019). When we moved in together he was working and was helping around the house, as was I of course.
When the pandemic started he lost his job and for about a year I was very lenient and patient with him finding a job. He didn’t want to, he liked getting money from his parents and when that ran out he didn’t try again because he was almost banking on his mother giving more money.
Since February 2020 he has been out of work and I have been paying for everything we need. He also seems to think he still has a say in finances and making purchase requests. In turn, I said if you want that kind of luxury (deciding what gets bought or spent when you contribute nothing) he will have to help out, and since he can’t help with money he needs to help with house care.
There is no reason I should be the only one working AND taking care of the house. Even now, he complains about doing one load of dishes when I worked 9 hours. Mind you, there are no kids, he just plays video games all day or invites his friends over because he’s “depressed”, so am I. I’ve had my med doses raised 3 times in the last 2 years from the sheer stress as it’s breaking down my mental well-being. Thank
He says I’m a bad person for treating him like a “house wife”. Household expenses are 3200 a month on JUST rent and utilities. What he doesn’t understand is he is having $1600 a month in his living expenses covered plus whatever else he needs (food, toiletries, underwear, clothes, cigarettes, beer, which usually is another $300 a month at least).
He cleans maybe 1 hour total a week. He doesn’t cook, he leaves the kitchen a mess and refuses to clean it so either I have to clean it and cook or order food. He will only do HIS laundry, and he even offers his friends to come over to wash their clothes. I work 40-50 hours a week and am on call.
Am I wrong for expecting him to contribute close to the same amount of effort I do to the house hold or am I looking at this unfairly?