I (M43) have a girlfriend (33) who decided to go back to school in 2019. We have been together for five years and we are planning a future together.
Well she is kind of driven when it comes to school. I basically do not exist. We don’t have time for dates, meals together, not even to sit and watch a show.
Her first year sucked and then COVID hit. She was stuck doing school from her home office. We barely saw each other.
But when she is in school she is monomaniacal. This year she is back in the classroom for her classes. We have had time for one meal since September.
So I decided to go see some friends of mine in New Zealand. I have been gone for a few weeks and I will be home before the day of her last test. So 27 days overall.
She sent me a scathing Whatsapp today saying that she feels like I abandoned her. We hadn’t had a conversation for four days when I decided to take a vacation. I pointed that out and she said she was busy with school. So I asked what she thinks she missed by me not being there.
She had no answer. She is usually studying until after I go to bed. And she is gone by the time I wake up.
She is mad at me for leaving for a month even though we would not have really spent any time together for the entire month.
She lives with me. I am not asking her for anything while she is in school. In fact, I am paying for her uni. We get our groceries delivered, and she does her own laundry. I am superfluous at the moment.
We will be spending the Christmas holidays together and then I will be off to work and she will be in school again.
She is calling me an AH for leaving her. But I literally would not have gotten any of her time if I were home.