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Sunday, October 2, 2022


I (29m) recently got into an argument with my girlfriend (28f) about money.


About 2 years ago, I received a large inheritance from a wealthy aunt. Honestly, we weren’t very close, and I wasn’t really expecting to get anything. She left behind a couple of million worth of assets, and most of that went to her kids.

I was surprised to find out that she left me $50,000 (each of my siblings and cousins got the same amount).

When I got the money, I used most of it to pay off the rest of my student loans. Next, I bought a new computer and put the rest towards retirement.

Recently, my girlfriend was hanging out with one of my female cousins when she heard about the money we all got. This triggered an argument the next time we saw each other about why I was keeping this a secret from her and why I never offered to use it to help her with her own debt.

I told her that it wasn’t really a secret; it was just something I never really felt a need to talk about. I got the money and used most of it immediately. There was nothing really left to talk about.

She was upset at that, saying that I should have talked about it with her first and that the money could have really helped her back then.

I was kind of baffled because when I got the inheritance, we’d only been seeing each other for a couple of months. Way too early for that kind of financial entanglement.

She got even more upset and said that I should use some of it for her now, but I once again told her the money was basically gone. All that’s left is in a retirement account, and I’m not touching that.

We argued back and forth some more, and I got the sense she didn’t quite believe me about the money and thought that I had more left than I said I did. Nothing I could say would convince her otherwise.

All I could do was emphasize that everything left from the inheritance was in a retirement account that I would not touch. She called me selfish and left to stay with her sister.

We’ve been in a sort of cold war for about a week and I can’t help wonder if I did something wrong

submitted by /u/treetop-octopus
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