25.9 C
Friday, February 3, 2023


My boyfriend (26M) and I (23F) live and work together and so we spend most of our time together. I have OCD. It is very annoying.


I am worried about/do compulsions for, but the one at the crux of this story is my germaphobia, specifically my fear of herpes.

Here is where the big problem comes in: my boyfriend has herpes. Very early on in our relationship, he unintentionally transmitted the virus to me.

The outbreak I had was terrible, it lasted a very long time and it was very painful. I became terrified of infecting other people and went to all extremes to prevent it. I’ve only just started not washing my hands after doing something like rubbing my nose, and even that is terrifying to me because I am so scared of transmitting the virus.

My boyfriend, on the other hand, has an outbreak and doesn’t think it’s a big deal.

I do, because you can get an outbreak from contact even if you already have herpes. He’ll touch it and I’ll beg him to wash his hands, which is a big change for him. We’ve also stopped kissing and sharing food.

Lately, he’s been getting really angry and basically yelling at me when I ask him to wash after touching the sore, and tells me that it is really hard having me around like this and blames my OCD.

This is really hurtful to me because he was the sweetest before this and never made me feel like I was a burden like everyone else did. I also disagree with him because this isn’t an irrational fear, it’s an actual health thing with guidelines he is not following. That said, I know I am being really annoying and it is not easy dating me.

We have an out-of-town trip coming up this weekend, and we have talked about it many times and requested time off from work for it. Yesterday, out of the blue, he told me he would like to stay home for the weekend.

After some prodding, he admitted it was because he wanted time without me and wants me to go home for the weekend. We got in the biggest fight we’ve ever had. He thinks I am being toxic for not wanting to give him a single weekend for himself when we spend so much time together. I think that he is being very rude and hurtful now that my OCD is personally annoying to him and deciding that we would not go on the trip that I was excited for.

I thought we were on the same page about everything until his cold sore showed up. All I want is for him to follow the guidelines for cold sores so I don’t get another outbreak and go back to being the man I have loved for all this time. He is telling me that me being upset about giving him a weekend on his own is toxic, which I think is correct, but that doesn’t account for the fact that it isn’t a regular weekend as we had a trip planned. At this point I have accepted that we will not spend the weekend together. I don’t want to force him to spend time with me. That said, this whole thing has hurt me so much that I am considering ending the relationship. I don’t always see things so clearly due to OCD, am I wrong for being too clingy?

submitted by /u/Accomplished-Boat162
[link] [comments]

- Advertisement -
- Advertisement -
Latest News


I need to hang my head in shame for being an unthinking husband.Sorry for any shirking or grammar issues...
- Advertisement -