Me and my bf have been living together for over a year now and decided to talk about marriage. He makes a lot more money than me but he’s also 3y older.
We work in different industry so even if I work like crazy I would never make as much as he did. Right now I pay utilities and make food for home date, whereas he pays other large dating expenses.
I don’t own a car nor do I really need one for my daily routines. He has a car for work, but he’d pick me up and drive me around from time to times.
When we talked about marriage, he told me he actually felt like I’ve been taking advantage of him. He’s been spending way more than me in this relationship and I did not give him much of a choice.
So if we went into marriage, he’d want me to pay for half of almost everything. I make decent money and hypothetically if everything goes well, I could keep up with most of the bills. But it won’t leave much for me to save or spend. Then we talked about kids, which obviously will take a toll on my career.
He reply by saying he’d cover my expenses during pregnancy, but he except me to go back to work and have everything going back to normal.
I never knew he felt this way. We didn’t talk about our spending. I thought everything just falls into place naturally. I really don’t agree with his plans. Especially with him making so much more than me, it will be really difficult for me to keep up with his quality of life. I tried to tell him if our roles were to flip, I wouldn’t mind spending more in a marriage. The conversation got a little heated after. He really hates the hypotheticals because he didn’t think I’ll never date him if I made more money.
Here’s comes the AH part. I bumped into one of his closest friend after work. I don’t know how but we started taking about this. He told me I will be a total AH if I just expect my bf to pay for most large expenses. Even in a joint account situation I will be taking advantage of him because he makes so much more.
He went on and on about this. I didn’t really want to talk much with him, but I kinda suspect bf sent him to tell me off because he got into pretty details things in our fight.
I am not gonna lie and pretend my life isn’t a lot better with him. But I really wasn’t expecting him wanting seperate finance especially after marriage.
In his previous relationship he dated sort of a gold digger girl. He practically bought her everything but still got cheated on. I knew he had consideration after that experience but I was not expecting paying half of everything.
Am I wrong?