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Sunday, June 26, 2022
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MAN OVERLY CONCERNED WITH WELLBEING OF COLLEAGUE

My colleague who is 43 years old (10 years older than me) and I run our department together. We have to work pretty closely together to ensure everything runs smoothly in our department. We have never actually met in person because everything is done remotely.

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He is honestly kind of overbearing. He talks, A LOT. And if I don’t respond to his chit chat messages, he just keeps sending more trying to strike up a conversation. He also complains about how many hours he works and how he is constantly working until 9 or 10pm. But I’m skeptical that is all work because of how much he talks.

He keeps doing this thing where he “checks in” on me. Sending me messages like “Make sure you eat lunch!” or “Make sure you get your workout in!” but its not like a one-off thing. This is daily, multiple times a day. Like yesterday, I told him I was behind on a project and he was like “don’t use being behind as an excuse to skip lunch or working out!” Neither of which I said I was going to do. Yes, in the past I have worked through my lunch or skipped a workout, but, like, I don’t need a babysitter.

Today, he sends me a message, “Make sure you eat before the meeting with [client]!” So I responded with “Hey, I really don’t need these messages. I know you mean well, but this is coming off patronizing.”

He went immediately into victim mode with “I just care about your health! I want you to take care of yourself! I’m sorry that my caring bothers you so much, but you’re my partner in this department!”

I’m not slacking on my work. I’m actually the one who brings in the big clients/projects for what we do, while he usually brings in little clients (we work in PR and I bring the national/international accounts, while he brings local or regional).

So I explained “Look, like I said, I know you mean well, but I am a grown woman and I haven’t died of a heart attack or starvation yet. I’ve got this.”

So her retorted with “Dude, I’m just being your friend and I care about you.” and just kept going on.

Like I said, I know his heart may be in the right place, but his head is not and it’s beyond annoying. AITA here? Did I overreact?

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