After I had my first child I had postpartum depression.
I had a hard time getting motivated to do anything. I was just a ball of emotions and tears. My ex-husband was 25 at the time and he couldn’t handle it.
So he left. His mom, Linda, took me in. She took over taking care of my son and she helped me get therapy. She paid for the formula when I went on medication for my treatment and I couldn’t breastfeed. She quite literally held me while I cried, feeling useless as a mother and as a woman.
She was more of a mother to me than I had ever known before.
It took a while but I balance it out. I got back to watching my child. When I went back to work my “mom” said that she would watch my son so he didn’t have to go to daycare and cost me all the money I earned. She knew her son was not paying child support.
She told me to go after him for it so I did. Getting it made my life easier and I asked her if she wanted me to move out. She said “nope”.
When my son was six, three years ago, I started talking to my now husband. He worked out at the gym where I went to get rid of all the weight I put on. He had seen me there for years and had nodded and said hi but never approached me before. He told me that he was really impressed by my commitment to my health and he asked me out. I almost said no. I had only ever been with one guy and that was before the stretch marks and stuff.
Linda told me to go for it.
So, long story short, I am now married to a pretty great guy. I’m working, and Linda lives in our guest suite and takes care of my son before and after school. She has even met a gentleman and has spent a few evenings out of the house. LoL
Because of my relationship with her, I am still part of her family. So several of them were invited to my wedding. And they all called my husband an upgrade from my ex.
So last Sunday my ex was bringing my son back from his time with him and he asked if I ever thought about what our life would be if I hadn’t gotten depressed. I snorted and said no. I never thought of him as anything other than a sperm donor. He said that his family had done a lot for me and that I should be grateful. I said that I was grateful TO THEM. I said that all of them that were still in my life considered my husband an upgrade from him. He got all butthurt that I said that and left.
He called his mom and complained about what I said.
Her and I talked yesterday and she said that even though it was true it was hurtful and that I shouldn’t have said it. She seemed sad and I feel bad for disappointing her.
I apologized to her and I called my ex and apologized to him. Sincerely. He called me a “Pu bor” for turning his family against him. I guess he called other family members and they all said he wasn’t as good for me as my husband. And a few were less complimentary than that.
So now I feel like crap for starting drama I could have avoided by keeping my big mouth shut. But it was so shocking to hear him ask about us when he left me without looking back.