I (42F) moved in with my now husband (37M) a little over 2.5 years ago when the pandemic hit. My income disappeared and he has never had a proper income because of the economy.
We struggled every day for every dollar just to eat and pay for the basics. We were happy and developed a deep love for each other.
I’m now employed online and we live in a normal house. I’m supporting both of us and his dreams of opening a business of his own.
He has anger issues. He recently threw my handphone at the bed in anger and partially ruptured the tendons in my ankle. I’ve forgiven him for things and it doesn’t help that my reaction to being yelled at is to yell back. This has gotten better as we have worked on it.
The business needs everything. I’ve paid out $10K cash already and this is after the FIRST one I funded for him last year which tanked. He says he wants the business to provide for me so I don’t have to work anymore. He has felt inadequate our entire relationship because he’s not making money which is why I’ve been devoting all of my income to support him.
He says that once the business is open he may have to stay late at times and I need to be flexible with my expectations. I understand but our marriage always needs to be first priority.
He had the signage printed for the windows. English is not his first language and because we want the business to look attractive to tourists, we are using English. He texts me to show me that the signage done – much to my surprise. And it’s spelt wrong.
I explained calmly that it needed to be corrected before we pay. I asked to be included to proof the changes before it was reprinted. Instead, he promised me the guy would fix it, took the money out of the bank, paid him, and had it reprinted And it’s still wrong.
I told him he tricked me into paying for signage that was wrong when I said we wouldn’t pay until it was corrected.
He stayed out until 9:30 last night. He said he had been at the shop and had texted me to let me know. But he had texted me at 7:30. I’m not allowed to question him otherwise I’m trying to be controlling.
He got the cash out of the bank for the monthly rent and I asked him last night if he paid it. He said yes; he showed me his wallet and that it was empty. I asked him where the receipt was; he said at the shop. I said then you’ll be able to bring it home tomorrow and he said yes. I asked where he got the money for the new lighting he installed and he froze and said, “I made a mistake. I’ll fix it.” (He used the rent money.)
And I told him the business is obviously more important than me, all I am to him is his bank, and I won’t do it anymore and that our relationship is over. I’ve given him the option to talk about our problems and today either make a final decision as to how to function as a couple or to go our separate ways and his response was that I clearly want to be free and want another man and am tired of him.
Should I put an end to it?