For context: I (22M) have 2 siblings (22F and 23F) and I am the youngest (the youngest twin). But we are all adults now.
This all started a few years ago when my oldest sister got pregnant with my nephew. It was the first baby of our generation and of course, everyone was overjoyed it was a boy because they are so rare in the family.
I won’t sugarcoat it. My sister was spoiled during her pregnancy. She was driven to all her doctors’ appointments, nearly every day someone was buying something new, with every craving someone was ready to go get it, and she even had 2 baby showers. When my nephew was born it was the happiest my family had been since my grandma died.
My mom, however, wasn’t.
Everytime someone would do something for my sister, she expected it for herself. I remember I bought my sister a pedicure and paid extra for a foot massage and my mother was pissed at me for days for not getting her one. “I’m the baby’s grandma!” She would say constantly.
We all ignored it for the sake of my nephew.
Well, my mom just recently sat me and my siblings down and explained how she wanted to try getting pregnant again. She wasn’t asking us our opinion, more like informing us that it was going to happen. My sister was excited for someone who could be a playmate for her son. My twin was hesitant and I was livid. For privacy reasons, I won’t give my mother’s medical history, but just that is enough for concern not to mention the fact that she’s 50+ years old.
I asked her how she planned to live if she couldn’t work while pregnant as my father has never been in the picture. “Well one of my kids shouldn’t mind taking care of me.”
I asked her how she planned to take care of a baby when she was back to work. “Someone in the family can babysit.”
I asked her how she planned on buying baby stuff because she’s not good with saving money at all. “Everyone will pitch in for the baby as they did with your sister.”
And no. They wouldn’t. My mom has burned quite a lot of bridges for her emotional immaturity. And one very high-risk pregnancy will not change that. Not to mention the fact that my siblings and I were raised by our grandparents because she couldn’t.
So I sat her down and tried to explain how this would be a terrible idea for everyone involved. But she got upset and started yelling about how I need to be supportive and I’m just jealous because I won’t be the youngest anymore. I let my emotions get ahead of me and I called her insane and left.
My siblings and family have called to tell me I need to apologize and that I was way out of line. I “don’t have to like her trying for another baby but I need to be supportive.” Which I feel would be the case if we were talking about literally anyone else. But nobody else thinks the same.