I had the worst NYE of my life last night.
I am an alcoholic. Already been through rehab, been sober for about 5 years. I drank last night. know that’s really bad you don’t need to tell me.
My idiotic alcoholic brain convinced sober me it’s okay. Once again I know that’s not right.
My girlfriend has been wanting to go partying for quite some time and I’ve always had a hard time because I struggle being around people who are drinking and drunk.
She has been patient. Before I went over to her place to meet her friends, I drank, a lot. I wanted to be fun for once. That’s the only reason I can think of as to why I did it.
I ended up outside of the bar in the rain with my girlfriend consoling me while I spouted a bunch of drunk nonsense which I do not remember most of.
Someone else had to come pick me up and bring me home. She has ended things with me and I feel awful.
Hungover, anxious, down. I know I messed up and there’s nothing I can do now. Just have to get it out. Thanks for reading, I appreciate each and every one of you.