Unwanted attraction
Just wanna get this off my chest because it’s killing me not being able to tell anyone, probably gon get lots of hate for this cos I know it’s f-ed up but I just wanna get it out and close this chapter
I have a bf of 3 years and we’ve been going really strong, everyone sees us as the happy and stable couple cos that’s what we really are, until recently.
Some new guy joined my company about half a year back but we never interacted until the past month or so. We were placed on the same project and have to work pretty closely.
He is very charismatic and has the face and the build that I really love. About 1-2 weeks back we had a gathering over drinks and I ended up getting overly tipsy, I struck up convos with him that were not about work, as it was noisy we sat so close to each other to speak and he even had his arm around me.
I started paying more attention to him that now I’m so attracted to him I have impure thoughts and I even dream of him. I even secretly hope that he is attracted to me too although he did mention to a few other colleagues that he wishes to get to know one of my other teammates
I’m 101% NOT going to act on it and I find myself disgusting for even feeling this way hence the title unwanted attraction. I feel super guilty towards my bf for even finding some other guy attractive and my conscience is eating me up.
I wanna stop feeling this way but I can’t stop my heart from wanting to see that guy and interact with him more. I’ve been avoiding him in the office and trying my best to shake off whatever thoughts I have but it’s tough. I wish I could just delete my feelings.
This is so superficial and horribly wrong on so many levels I need a solution